for some reason i cant access chapters 5-15 document not found. please
look into this i was rather enjoying the book

And do the others in your address book a favor as well. As ways check
to make sure that what you are forwarding isn't a urban legend email
which The Shock to NBC one is.

Indy

--- In KatlingGON@..., "Jane Average" <janeaverage@...>
wrote:
>
> Hope Souther/maxwell_demon78:
>
> This is not what this group is for.  Remove the address from whatever
> "send to all" list you are using.
>
>
> Jane
>

Hope Souther/maxwell_demon78:

This is not what this group is for.  Remove the address from whatever
"send to all" list you are using.


Jane

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "sdhartzog@..." <sdhartzog@...>
To: Hope Souther <angelkitty78@...>; Hope Souther
<maxwell_demon78@...>; Rebecca Lewis <truweston@...>; Kenyada
Daniels <yada414@...>; Diana Ballard <dandjballard@...>;
jameshartzog <jameshartzog@...>; Heather <hotwheelschic88@...>;
Christina <seagority@...>; Amanda <dallyheartache@...>
Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2008 6:20:34 PM
Subject: Fw: Shock to NBC


 
-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: "Diana Ballard" <dandjballard@...>
To: "stacy hartzog" <sdhartzog@...>
Subject: Fw: Shock to NBC
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:15:16 +0000


 
----- Original Message -----
From: PurchTemp
To: dandjballard@...
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2008 3:31 PM
Subject: FW: Shock to NBC

 
 

________________________________

From:Moose, Angie
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2008 3:28 PM
To: Davenport, Milisa; Griffin, Leslie; Mixson, Kristi; Morrow, Marshall
Cc: Muncy, Jack; PurchTemp; Forney, Linda; Davidson, Dianna; Rumple, Paula;
Susan Annette (dumpie1962@...)
Subject: FW: Shock to NBC
 
 
 
 
Angie Moose
Buyer/Planner
angiemoose@...
-----Original Message-----
From: Lita Johnson [mailto:lita@...]
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2008 3:17 PM
To: Greg Tucker; Shirley Tucker; John Tucker; Karen King; Peggy Pallas; Rose
Marie Williams; Dixie Adams
Subject: Fw: Shock to NBC
 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
This is not sent for discussion, if you agree forward it, if you don't, fine,
delete it. I don't want to know one way or the other. By me forwarding it, you
know how I feel.
 
 
 

 


 
 

I'll bet this was a surprise to NBC.
NBC POLL



Do you believe that the word God should stay in American culture?

NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest Number of
responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the Percentage was
the same as this:

86% to keepthe words, IN God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance
14% against

That is a pretty 'commanding' public response.

I was asked tosend this on if I agreedor delete if I didn't.

Now it is your turn< / SPAN>..It is said that86% of Americans believe the word
God should stay.

Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such A mess about
having 'In God We Trust' on our money and having God in the Pledge of
Allegiance.

Why is the world catering to this 14%? < B>

AMEN!

If you agree, pass this on,if not, simply delete

In God We Trust   
        
     
 

________________________________

 
 

________________________________

Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best 2008.
 
 
 
This message and accompanying documents are covered by
the Electronic Communications Privacy Act 18
U.S.C. "Sections 2510-2521," and contain information
intended for the specified individual(s) only. This
information is confidential.  If you are not th
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recipient or an agent responsible for delivering it to
the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you
have received this document in error and that any review,
dissemination, copying, or the taking of any action based
on the contents of this information is strictly
prohibited.  If you have received this communication in
error, please notify us immediately by e-mail, and delete
the original message.
 
 



________________________________

Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best 2008.



________________________________

Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best 2008.

________________________________

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 270.3.0/1499 - Release Date: 6/12/2008 7:13
AM

________________________________

Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Showtimes, theaters, movie news, & more! The
information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which it is
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retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking of any action in
reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other than the intended
recipient is prohibited. If you received this in error, please contact the
sender and delete the material from any computer, multimedia hand held device or
phone service. Thank you.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Like the world really NEEDS more SPAM.
I wonder what percentage of email is actually advertisements?

This was a fraud back from the year 2000.
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/arlington.asp

--- In KatlingGON@..., Hope Souther
<maxwell_demon78@...> wrote:
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: DARLA LIZOTTE
> To: Carol Atwood
> Sent: Friday, May 02, 2008 7:34 PM
> Subject: to my daughter
>
> To My Daughter - by an OK... Police Officer�
>
>
> "TO MY DAUGHTER" (AOL IS TRACKING THIS) PLEASE DO�
> NOT DELETE�
>
> THIS WILL HIT YOU WHERE IT HURTS!�
>
> *Just for this morning, I am going to step over�the laundry,�and
pick you up and take you to the park to play.�
>
> *Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes�in the sink,�and let
you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and�keep the
computer off, and sit with you in the�backyard and�blow bubbles.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny
grumb le when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck�and I will
buy you one if he comes by.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about�what you are�going to
be when you grow up, or second guess�every decision�I have made where
you are concerned.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me�bake cookies,�and I
won't stand over you trying to fix them.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will take us to�McDonald's and buy us
both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will hold you in my�arms and tell you�a
story about how you were born and how much I�love you.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will let you splash in�the tub and�not get
angry.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will let you stay up�late while we sit�on
th e porch and count all the stars.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside�you for hours,�and
miss my favorite TV shows.�
>
> *Just for this evening when I run my finger�through your hair�as you
pray, I will simply be grateful that God�has given me the�greatest
gift ever given.�
>
> *I will think about the mothers And fathers who�are searching�for
their missing children, the mothers and�
> fathers who are�visiting their children's graves instead of�their
bedrooms, and�mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms�watching�
> their children suffer senselessly, and screaming�inside that�they
can't handle it anymore.�
>
> *And when I kiss you good night I will hold you�a little tighter,�a
little longer. It is then, that I will thank�God for you, and�ask Him
for nothing, except one more
> day............�
>
> * Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife�have had a�wonderful
life together. God blessed us with a�child too.�
>
> Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years�old.�
>
> Not long ago the doctors detected brain cancer in her little body.�
>
> There is only one way to save her and that is an�operation.�
> Sadly we don't have the money for the operation.
> AOL and Zdnet have agreed to help us. The only�way they can help is
this:�
>
> If you send this email to other people, AOL will�track this email
and c ount how many people get it. Every person�that opens this�email
and sends it to at least 3 people will give us 32c.�Please help us.�
>
> Bryan Swim�
> Tahlequah , OK . Police Dept.�
> School Resource Officer # 65�
>
> � � "Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has A Future"�
>
> �
> �
> �
> -------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
> From: REBECCA WELBORN <bentonb4welborn@...>
> To: cmilam03 <cmilam03@...>, Joan Crane <jandkcrane@...>, Gene
Englebert <jockogene@...>
> Subject: Fwd: to my daughter
> Date: Sat, 3 May 2008 18:46:11 +0000
>
>
> ----- Forwarded Message -----
> From: jandkcrane@...
> To: "REBECCA WELBORN" <bentonb4welborn@...>, "Beverly"
<Rebstla@...>, "kristin childs" <kristinchontelle@...>, "art smith"
<smithart43@...>
> Sent: Saturday, May 3, 2008 9:18:58 AM (GMT-0500) America/New_York
> Subject: Fw: to my daughter
>
>
> �
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: DARLA LIZOTTE
> To: Carol Atwood
> Sent: Friday, May 02, 2008 7:34 PM
> Subject: to my daughter
>
> To My Daughter - by an OK... Police Officer�
>
>
> "TO MY DAUGHTER" (AOL IS TRACKING THIS) PLEASE DO�
> NOT DELETE�
>
> THIS WILL HIT YOU WHERE IT HURTS!�
>
> *Just for this morning, I am going to step over�the laundry,�and
pick you up and take you to the park to play.�
>
> *Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes�in the sink,�and let
you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and�keep the
computer off, and sit with you in the�backyard and�blow bubbles.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny
grumb le when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck�and I will
buy you one if he comes by.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about�what you are�going to
be when you grow up, or second guess�every decision�I have made where
you are concerned.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me�bake cookies,�and I
won't stand over you trying to fix them.�
>
> *Just for this afternoon, I will take us to�McDonald's and buy us
both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will hold you in my�arms and tell you�a
story about how you were born and how much I�love you.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will let you splash in�the tub and�not get
angry.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will let you stay up�late while we sit�on
th e porch and count all the stars.�
>
> *Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside�you for hours,�and
miss my favorite TV shows.�
>
> *Just for this evening when I run my finger�through your hair�as you
pray, I will simply be grateful that God�has given me the�greatest
gift ever given.�
>
> *I will think about the mothers And fathers who�are searching�for
their missing children, the mothers and�
> fathers who are�visiting their children's graves instead of�their
bedrooms, and�mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms�watching�
> their children suffer senselessly, and screaming�inside that�they
can't handle it anymore.�
>
> *And when I kiss you good night I will hold you�a little tighter,�a
little longer. It is then, that I will thank�God for you, and�ask Him
for nothing, except one more
> day............�
>
> * Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife�have had a�wonderful
life together. God blessed us with a�child too.�
>
> Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years�old.�
>
> Not long ago the doctors detected brain cancer in her little body.�
>
> There is only one way to save her and that is an�operation.�
> Sadly we don't have the money for the operation.
> AOL and Zdnet have agreed to help us. The only�way they can help is
this:�
>
> If you send this email to other people, AOL will�track this email
and c ount how many people get it. Every person�that opens this�email
and sends it to at least 3 people will give us 32c.�Please help us.�
>
> Bryan Swim�
> Tahlequah , OK . Police Dept.�
> School Resource Officer # 65�
>
> � � "Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has A Future"�
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

hoax...while the sentiment is lovely the begging to forward is ...irritating.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/arlington.asp

 Kazhdy drochit kak on khochet.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "sdhartzog@..." <sdhartzog@...>
To: Hope Souther <angelkitty78@...>; Hope Souther
<maxwell_demon78@...>; Rebecca Lewis <truweston@...>; Kenyada
Daniels <yada414@...>; Diana Ballard <dandjballard@...>;
jameshartzog <jameshartzog@...>; Heather <hotwheelschic88@...>;
Christina <seagority@...>; Amanda <dallyheartache@...>
Sent: Sunday, June 15, 2008 7:31:19 PM
Subject: Fwd: to my daughter


 
-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: General MadDog <dallyheartache@...>
To: angelkitty78@..., ann <crewsfence@...>, christina gority
<seagority@...>, amanda camo h <dark_raven_cat_mistress@...>, Jarred
James Johnson <taran47@...>, Erin Shively <emshively@...>, falon d
snow <sunset_28634@...>, stacey <sdhartzog@...>,
v_digorga@..., Tammy Waddell <gagetwoman@...>
Subject: Fwd: to my daughter
Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2008 05:44:53 +0000




--- On Fri, 6/13/08, Deborah Kennedy <dlgkennedy@...> wrote:

From: Deborah Kennedy <dlgkennedy@...>
Subject: Fwd: to my daughter
To: "amanda kennedy" <dallyheartache@...>
Date: Friday, June 13, 2008, 7:50 PM




Note: forwarded message attached.


Note: forwarded message attached.



-----Inline Message Follows-----



Please note: forwarded message attached



_____________________________________________________________
Click to find local singles for dating, romance and fun



-----Inline Attachment Follows-----



Please note: forwarded message attached



_____________________________________________________________
Click to find local singles for dating, romance and fun



-----Inline Message Follows-----


 
-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: REBECCA WELBORN <bentonb4welborn@...>
To: cmilam03 <cmilam03@...>, Joan Crane <jandkcrane@...>,
Gene Englebert <jockogene@...>
Subject: Fwd: to my daughter
Date: Sat, 3 May 2008 18:46:11 +0000


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: jandkcrane@...
To: "REBECCA WELBORN" <bentonb4welborn@...>, "Beverly"
<Rebstla@...>, "kristin childs" <kristinchontelle@...>, "art smith"
<smithart43@...>
Sent: Saturday, May 3, 2008 9:18:58 AM (GMT-0500) America/New_York
Subject: Fw: to my daughter


 
----- Original Message -----
From: DARLA LIZOTTE
To: Carol Atwood
Sent: Friday, May 02, 2008 7:34 PM
Subject: to my daughter

To My Daughter - by an OK... Police Officer 


"TO MY DAUGHTER" (AOL IS TRACKING THIS) PLEASE DO 
NOT DELETE 

THIS WILL HIT YOU WHERE IT HURTS! 

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and
take you to the park to play. 

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach
me how to put that puzzle of yours together. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumb le when
you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes
by. 

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you
grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand
over you trying to fix them. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy
Meal so you can have both toys. 

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about
how you were born and how much I love you. 

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. 

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on th e porch
and count all the stars. 

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my
favorite TV shows. 

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I
will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. 

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching for their missing
children, the mothers and 
fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching 
their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle
it anymore. 

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little
longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing,
except one more
day............ 

* Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a wonderful life
together. God blessed us with a child too. 

Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old. 

Not long ago the doctors detected brain cancer in her little body. 

There is only one way to save her and that is an operation. 
Sadly we don't have the money for the operation.
AOL and Zdnet have agreed to help us. The only way they can help is this: 

If you send this email to other people, AOL will track this email and c ount how
many people get it. Every person that opens this email and sends it to at least
3 people will give us 32c. Please help us. 

Bryan Swim 
Tahlequah , OK . Police Dept. 
School Resource Officer # 65 

    "Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has A Future" 

 
 
 
-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: REBECCA WELBORN <bentonb4welborn@...>
To: cmilam03 <cmilam03@...>, Joan Crane <jandkcrane@...>,
Gene Englebert <jockogene@...>
Subject: Fwd: to my daughter
Date: Sat, 3 May 2008 18:46:11 +0000


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: jandkcrane@...
To: "REBECCA WELBORN" <bentonb4welborn@...>, "Beverly"
<Rebstla@...>, "kristin childs" <kristinchontelle@...>, "art smith"
<smithart43@...>
Sent: Saturday, May 3, 2008 9:18:58 AM (GMT-0500) America/New_York
Subject: Fw: to my daughter


 
----- Original Message -----
From: DARLA LIZOTTE
To: Carol Atwood
Sent: Friday, May 02, 2008 7:34 PM
Subject: to my daughter

To My Daughter - by an OK... Police Officer 


"TO MY DAUGHTER" (AOL IS TRACKING THIS) PLEASE DO 
NOT DELETE 

THIS WILL HIT YOU WHERE IT HURTS! 

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and
take you to the park to play. 

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach
me how to put that puzzle of yours together. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumb le when
you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes
by. 

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you
grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand
over you trying to fix them. 

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy
Meal so you can have both toys. 

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about
how you were born and how much I love you. 

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. 

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on th e porch
and count all the stars. 

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my
favorite TV shows. 

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I
will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. 

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching for their missing
children, the mothers and 
fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching 
their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle
it anymore. 

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little
longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing,
except one more
day............ 

* Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a wonderful life
together. God blessed us with a child too. 

Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old. 

Not long ago the doctors detected brain cancer in her little body. 

There is only one way to save her and that is an operation. 
Sadly we don't have the money for the operation.
AOL and Zdnet have agreed to help us. The only way they can help is this: 

If you send this email to other people, AOL will track this email and c ount how
many people get it. Every person that opens this email and sends it to at least
3 people will give us 32c. Please help us. 

Bryan Swim 
Tahlequah , OK . Police Dept. 
School Resource Officer # 65 

    "Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has A Future" 




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Kate,

I've been home sick all week with strep throat, after just getting back from
vacation.  and after having a major computer crash where I lost all my
favorites and links to fics.  So, I waited for someone to post to your
group, so I could get the link to the group site and get your work back in
my internet favorites on my new laptop.  And now, to comfort me in my darned
illness, I am reading Guild of the Night again.  And, oh, I love it as much
as ever.  It is one of those stories I go back to every time, when I long to
read some HP fan fiction.  Thanks again for such a great story.  I'm going
to reread all my other favorites, even though many aren't completed yet,
because it's like being with dear friends.  I hope you are doing well.

Sherry



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

--- In KatlingGON@..., "amandahenes" <amandahenes@...>
wrote:
>
> I really like the story but I was wondering if it is WIP or Abandoned.
>

I'd say somewhere between on hiatus and abandoned.  The group's
activity is extremely light and there have been no posts on any of the
author's stories in a very long time.

I really like the story but I was wondering if it is WIP or Abandoned.

Loved that one as well, nice to see James Potter growing up.  What will
happen if Voldie still wants Harry dead?  Or manages to kill off James
and Lily?

(^_^)/
BEM

I've been reading ULtH.   Is this posted anywhere else besides this
group?

Also an idea hit me, if Harry does have powers more similiar to the
older monarchy, I keep hearing Voldimort telling Harry in the 4th
book, "We're going to be such good friends."  in that oily Evil
Overlord sort of way.

If Voldie was using Thicknesse (was that his name) as a puppet in the
last books, then wouldn't the king make an even better puppet?
Though I'm sure both Harry and his men, and Sirius would have
something to say about Moldywarts using Harry as a puppet ruler.

And poor Rupert is going to have a heart attack when the Goblet of
Fire spits out Harry's name.

And I love how Severus is adding another layer to his "game."  To be
a spy for a king is well, top of the spy-line I guess.  If he
survives to the end of things, the King will really owe him.  I keep
seeing Voldie crucio-ing Severus for not being friendly towards
Harry.  But now Severus has a reason to keep Harry at arm's length in
public.  He could still keep Harry appraised of things behind the
scenes though.  (I keep feeling that canon-Harry should have been
told about Dumble's illness in book 6, and that he was dying.)

Will your Severus keep Harry appraised of such things?

Just a note to let you know that I enjoyed "Uneasy Lies The Head."

(^_^)/
BEM

lol yeah sorry about that I managed to fix it on the next email after
that  but I had a really hard time getting the line breaks to stay in
the message.  I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Michelle


--- In KatlingGON@..., "raine.haruto" <raine.haruto@...>
wrote:
>
> soo awesomely funny...but there really should be breaks in between
>

soo awesomely funny...but there really should be breaks in between

ive just now read this story and love what is posted( also love myst's
pic to go with) just wondering if its still a wip, abandoned or going
to be updated at all i really enjoyed it

Ha!  So after getting my message sent back from yahoo (figures)  I found out
that these groups only take plain text messaging, I can't believe it's taken me
a year to figure this out!  Oh well here's the message let's hope it show's up
right!

M

----------------------------2nd Original Message
(hahaha)-------------------------------------
*sigh* I'm really tired of trying to send things on yahoo groups and having it
come out funny, this time I even went onto the yahoo group itself and posted,
well I'll try one more time. It's really weird too, I sent it to 8 yahoo groups
and on 5 of them it came out funny, even tho I did absolutely nothing different!
Grr!! Okay so I took out all bold and underlined font stuff ( hahaha I really
need to find the proper name for that) and made it all georgia with 10 font,
let's see if it works now!

Michelle

---------------------------------Original
Message------------------------------------

Thought I'd share this, I found it off of a friend's (lhug_bereth) lj, this was
made before DH

Michelle


The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook: Harry Potter

A Guide to Surviving the Worst in the Harry Potter Universe, With No
Illustrations

*

What To Do If The House Elves Revolt Against All Wizardkind In An Orgy Of
Rebellion and Carnage - Don't Look At Me Like That It Could Happen

1. Don sturdy shoes. Due to their size, house elves will usually attack an
opponent's feet first of all.

2. For similar reasons, armoured trousers are a good idea.

3. If you are reasonably short, you may wish to disguise yourself as an elf to
avoid being attacked. To do this you will need a tea towel and complete
disregard for the rules of English grammar.

4. Do not make the classic mistake of disguising yourself as the wrong sort of
elf. Lord of the Rings was very badly received amongst the house elf community
due to its erroneous portrayal of the elvish population as being tall, blonde,
and nancing, and you will only incense them by dressing up as Legolas.

5. If cornered by a band of house elves, climb a tall tree. Do not be afraid
that they will cut the tree down, as house elves are domestic servants and have
no horticultural skills worth mentioning. But do not be surprised if they chuck
frying pans at you instead.

6. Make friends with Hermione Granger. Join SPEW. Proclaim your support for the
rebellion from the rooftops. Avoid the Malfoys and their ilk like the plague
(until Malfoy Manor is razed to the ground, of course, when you can stop by and
do a little quiet pillaging).

*

What To Do If You Have To Attend A Formal Function

1. Make sure you know well in advance what sort of function you are meant to be
attending. Avoid the embarrassing possibility of turning up to a Hogwarts Yule
Ball dressed for a Dark Revel, or vice versa.

2. Find yourself a date. If you are attending a Yule Ball or similar, you will
need to win your date's acceptance with flowers, compliments, etc. If you are
attending a Dark Revel you will need to hit your date over the head with
something heavy and tie them up.

3. Think your outfit through at least a week in advance. Make sure that your
shoes, dress robes, etc are all chosen with due care. If you are taking
chains/handcuffs, make sure they are not rusty and have been polished (avoid
cheap restraints, as these will often leave unsightly green marks on your fellow
guests' wrists, which is irritating for all concerned.)

4. If you feel nervous about the event, practise a few conversation-openers.
Make sure these are appropriate to the sort of function you happen to be
attending. For example, "Dumbledore was a pretty spiffy sort of bloke, wasn't
he?" will not be well received if you are attending an elegant soiree chez
Voldemort – whilst "Pass the bullwhip, please," is a perfect ice-breaker.

5. At the end of the evening, thank your host/hostess for a lovely time. If you
have been to a Dark Revel, be considerate and remember to take any severed limbs
with you. It is not the host/hostess' job to reunite people with their misplaced
body parts the day after a party.

*


What To Do If You Have To Spy On The Other Side Or The Other Other Side

1. Make sure your will and other legal documents are in good order.

2. Write insulting letters to everybody you know. Put them in a secure place
where they will be discovered on the event of your death. (Make sure they aren't
discovered before your death, obviously, in order to avoid needless kerfuffle).

3. Behave suspiciously: constantly move your eyes backwards and forwards as if
watching an invisible tennis match, chuckle ceaselessly under your breath, make
annoyingly obscure statements in a mysterious tone. This will immediately divert
your colleagues' suspicions, as it is well known that the most suspicious person
is never the spy..

4. If you are discovered, offer to become a double agent. If you are discovered
to be a double agent, offer to become a triple agent. (Becoming a quadruple
agent is not advised, as you may well end by imploding out of sheer confusion.)

*


What To Do If Voldemort Has Captured Your Close Friend/Relative As Part Of An
Unimaginative Plot

1. Take several deep, cleansing breaths.

2. Take several more cleansing breaths.

3. Make sure that your friend/relative has actually been captured. Do not accept
dream visions/the word of someone who is known to loathe you/a funny feeling in
your little toe as concrete proof.

4. Once you have checked that your friend/relative is really captured, check
again. You cannot be too careful about this point. Imagine how humiliated you
would be if you charged into Voldemort's lair to rescue the hostage only to
discover that he/she is in fact sitting safe at home playing Monopoly with a
close friend.

5. Once you have ascertained the capture is genuine, do not hastily assemble a
small group of your closest friends and attempt to liberate your loved one.
Instead, gather the cleverest people of your acquaintance and concoct a
fiendishly cunning escape plan for your friend/relative's rescue.

6. Do not attend the rescue mission personally. Instead, remain at home and blow
up balloons for the welcome home party that will follow your friend/relative's
rescue.

7. If you are unable to rescue your friend/relative, do not offer yourself as a
hostage in his/her place. Instead, meet a representative of Voldemort's for tea
at a neutral location (Switzerland, for instance, or your local supermarket),
and discuss ransom arrangements.

*


What To Do If You Encounter A Wizarding Invention/Cultural Reference You Are Not
Familiar With

1. Enquire what the invention/cultural reference is at the earliest opportunity.
It will almost certainly be important to the story, and may also be important
for your personal safety.

2. If you are alone and encounter a wizarding invention you have never seen
before, don't touch it.

3. Don't prod it with your wand.

4. Don't drink it.

5. Don't jump into it.

6. Don't take it apart to see how it works.

7. Don't befriend it and tell it all your deepest secrets.

8. In short, keep well away from anything until you are sure how it works/what
it does. Otherwise you may well experience a very messy accident (c.f.
Bartholomew Jones, the muggleborn wizard who attempted to drink brandy from the
Goblet of Fire in 1810, with disastrous consequences).

*


What To Do If The School Is Attacked

1.. Look for an escape route. For example, use the secret passageway that leads
from Hogwarts to Honeydukes

2. Alternatively, escape using portkey, broom, hippogriff, hot air balloon, or
similar. DO NOT show yourself up by forgetting that is impossible to apparate on
Hogwarts' grounds. You will die and Hermione Granger will spit on your grave.

3. If escape seems impossible, hide.

4. If hiding is impossible, find a safe place in the battle (under a table, or
something).

5. DO NOT: tell your friends how you wish to be buried, make your best friend
promise to look after your family if you die, say that you always wanted to see
the sea, talk about dead relatives you long to see again, wonder aloud what
heaven would look like, wisely remark that death is not to be feared, etc, etc,
etc.

6. Keep hold of your wand. As a precaution, take wands from any dead bodies you
may encounter. (Don't worry, they would almost certainly want you to do this.)

7. If you loose your wand, avail yourself of a makeshift weapon: phials of
potion can be thrown at an enemy, as can furniture, bricks, other students, etc.

8. If all else fails, play dead. Gnaw at enemy ankles when you get the chance.

*


What To Do If You Are Attacked By A Dementor

1. Dementors feed off happy feelings, so make yourself unappetising by thinking
depressing thoughts. Good topics would include: death, war, famine, disease,
poverty, global warming, the fact that you are being attacked by a dementor.

2. If the dementor attacks you anyway, use a patronus charm. Do not be
embarrassed if your patronus form is something stupid, like a snail or a packet
of fish fingers. Dementors have no sense of humour, and will therefore not mock
you.

3. If you are unable to use a patronus, fashion a decoy patronus from a large
silver helium balloon, a huge quantity of tinfoil, a gigantic light bulb, or
anything else that may be lying around.

4. Alternatively, when the dementor closes in on you to deliver the Kiss, pat it
on the cheek and say "I had a great time tonight, babe, but let's not rush
things, ok?" Whilst the dementor is confused/revolted, run away.

*


What To Do When Duelling A Death Eater

1. Remain on your guard at all times. Don't get distracted by interesting
scenery/the rather attractive Death Eater standing some distance away/wondering
whether you've forgotten to tape Eastenders.

2. Aim to either stun or kill immediately. Don't show off with fancy jinxes or
sparkling repartee – it will just waste time and make you look a total prat.

3. Do not taunt the death eater in the hope that s/he may become so angry that
s/he may make a mistake. This is a stupid idea.

4. Make sure that you are fully cognisant of where you are duelling. DO NOT duel
near:

- a large vat of deadly potion
- a cage with some sort of deadly creature in it
- unoccupied death eaters who may assist your opponent
- load-bearing walls/pillars (if inside)
- a sheer drop
- a veiled gateway into the great hereafter

*


What To Do If You Are Carrying Voldemort's Vile Spawn Of Evil

1. Do your research. Giving birth to the Misbegotten Offspring of Iniquity is
not like having a normal baby. In order to avoid unpleasant surprises, check how
long your pregnancy will last, which orifice the baby will emerge from, etc.

2. Choose godparents carefully. They matter more in the Harry Potter universe,
for some reason. It is as yet unknown whether the godparent has any financial
claim on his/her godchild, or whether there's some kind of prima nocte deal
operating, but you don't want your offspring to have a horrible surprise once
s/he reaches the age of consent, so make sure you plan ahead.

3. Rejoice in the fact that robes are convenient and flattering garments to wear
during pregnancy.

4. Prepare yourself for pregnancy side-effects. Due to the fact that you are
carrying Voldemort's Accursed Progeny of Doom, you will be spared stretch marks
and morning sickness. Instead, prepare yourself for manic laughter at
inopportune moments, sweating blood, and the ability to turn your head round 360
degrees.

5. After the birth, run away, as Voldemort will have no further use for you and
may well kill you to stop you hanging around being a nuisance and pestering him
about child support..

6. Sell your story to Witch Weekly, and live in comfort for the rest of your
life.

*


What To Do If You Are Being Subjected To An Unforgivable

1. If the unforgivable is Avada Kedavra, get a friend or relative to step in
front of the curse, offering their life for yours. Not only will this save you,
you will also have some nifty protection from your attacker in the future.

2. If it is Crucio, thrash around with pain for a while. Feel free to let
yourself go, as attempting to put on a brave front will simply provoke your
attacker to subject you to the curse for longer.

3. If your attacker is putting crucio on you in order to make you reveal an
important secret, reveal the secret immediately. Afterwards, claim that the
death eater "tricked" you into betraying your friends (this declaration should
be made with much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth – try to look as
wretched as possible).

4. If it is Imperio, check whether or not your attacker is actually forcing you
to do something you don't want to. If you are being ordered to perpetrate acts
of horrifying evil, you may wish to resist. If, on the other hand, you are being
ordered to eat seven boxes of chocolates and take a long hot bath, you may find
you have no choice but to yield to the diabolically evil will which is governing
you.

5. The best way to resist imperio is to have heroic strength of character.

6. If you do not happen to have heroic strength of character, think of the most
annoying song you can, and hum it to yourself.. This should effectively drive
the voice of your attacker out of your head..

7. If it doesn't work, the song you've selected obviously isn't annoying enough.
Have you tried "The song that never ends?"

8. How about "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam"?

9. In extreme circumstances, you may have to try "It's a small world after all",
but this should only be used as a last resort and with every possible
precaution. (If "It's a small world after all" proves unsuccessful, then your
attacker is simply too powerful and you are surely doomed. Sorry.)

*


What To Do If You Need To Travel Through Hogwarts At Night

1. Ask yourself if the journey is really necessary. Could it be put off until
morning?

2. If your errand is really essential, prepare yourself adequately beforehand.
Make sure you are wearing shoes that enable you to run.

3. Similarly, make sure you are properly dressed. Avoid wearing pyjamas, as the
likelihood of running into someone else is high, and you don't want your
reputation to be tarnished by being seen in a gammy grey nightshirt, now do you?

4. Sensible equipment to take includes:

- Invisibility cloak
- Marauders' map or similar
- Your wand
- Small first aid kit
- Sword
- Full body armour
- Protective helmet
- Burly bodyguard or henchperson

5. If it is practicable, inform a trustworthy friend of your journey. This will
ensure that there is someone to give the alarm if you do not return..

6. Refuse your trustworthy friend's offer to accompany you. It is unacceptable
to drag your friends along with you in your wild, irresponsible escapades.
(Unless you are Harry Potter, naturally, when you will probably be accompanied
by a small entourage of 2-5 people as a matter of course).

7. Keep track of your bearings at all times. It is easy to get lost in Hogwarts
and stray off into dangerous, forbidden locations which are important for plot
purposes.

8. When out of your common room, never relax your guard for a moment. Keep a
watch for any students/ghosts/teachers/death eaters posing as teachers/teachers
posing as death eaters/giant snakes/ex-convicts/cats/caretakers/peopl e in
invisibility cloaks/incarnations of Voldemort that may be prowling the halls.

*


What To Do If You Encounter A Book

1. Flee. It is probably evil and intent upon your destruction.

*


What To Do If You Have Several Horcruxes Lying Around Which Are Essential For
Preserving Your Immortality And Without Which You Will Be Mortal And Hence
Killable, Making Them Vital Weapons For Your Enemies To Use Against You

1. Check up on them from time to time to make sure people haven't nicked them.
Don't just strew them around the countryside as the whim takes you.

*


What To Do If You Are Captured By Voldemort Or His Henchpeople/Henchbeings

1. Try to lighten the situation. Make yourself agreeable to your captors by
complementing their dress sense, or crack a few jokes. This will ease the
tension and hopefully put all present at their ease.

2. Assess the situation. Are you tied up? What death eaters are guarding you?
Where are you situated? For what purpose have you been captured? Are you still
alive? Answering questions like these will help you to determine the best way to
escape.

3. If you are pureblood, make a big thing of it. Conversely, if you do not
happen to be pureblood, keep the fact a secret if you possibly can. Yelling "I'm
muggleborn and proud of it, you murdering death eater scum! RAAAH!" is not
advised unless you are either a total martyr or weary of life.

4. Offer to join Voldemort. His followers keep dying or being taken to Azkaban,
so he will always be in need of extra staff. Pretend you possess qualities
lacking in his present death eaters: claim you are a qualified masseuse, a
gifted infiltrator, intelligent, etc.

5. Do not offer sexual favours to Voldemort in return for your liberation. (This
point cannot be stressed strongly enough.)

6. If you are imprisoned in a dungeon or similar, check whether there's anyone
else in there with you. A brave, resourceful cellmate could help you escape. If
you are less lucky then your cellmate may be completely insane and clad in rags,
and attempt to chew off your feet whilst you're asleep.

7. REMEMBER: If you end up sharing a cell with Remus Lupin, you will be obliged
to sleep with him to avoid being eaten when he becomes a werewolf. It is advised
that you sleep with him immediately on arrival, regardless of what stage of the
lunar cycle it happens to be, and whether or not he actually has access to a
supply of wolfsbane. You can never be too careful, after all.

*


What To Do If Voldemort Attacks You

1. When he curses you, duck. The curse will hit the death eater standing behind
you. If you can keep this up for long enough, his entire circle of death eaters
will be dead, and it should be fairly easy for you to run to safety.

2. Alternatively, acquire a wand which is a brother to Voldemort's. Use priori
incantatum as a clever escape ploy.

3. If at all possible, be Harry Potter.

4. Call Voldemort "Tom". It really annoys him, and makes you appear formidable.

5. Better yet, up the ante and start addressing him as "Bob."

*


What To Do If The Other Side Wins

1. Do not despair. Running round in small circles or banging your head
repeatedly against a wall screaming "WHY?!! WHY?!!!!" will make you an easy
target for Death Eaters.

2. Assess your position. Are you a known opponent of Voldemort? Are you
pureblooded? Decide whether or not it is possible for you to pretend to have
been a supporter of Voldemort all along.

3. If it is, then do so. Praise Voldemort at every opportunity, and present him
with some kind of offering: a chest of gold pieces, a piece of valuable
Slytherin memorabilia, the Philosophers' stone, your firstborn, or similar.

4. If it is not possible for you to pose as a supporter of Voldemort, go into
hiding. Choose a location as far away as possible. New Zealand or Australia
would be a good spot. America is a less advisable choice, as Voldemort – a
keen fan of Desperate Housewives – has made it clear that this country will be
next on his list of places to attack.

5. If you cannot leave Britain, resist the temptation to "go muggle". You will
remain at risk, as muggles are a prime target of Voldemort's.

6. Instead, fake your own death. REMEMBER: this will make it impossible for you
to pay social calls. Many people pretending to be dead have given themselves
away by attending birthday parties, christenings, etc after their own funeral.

7. DO NOT be tempted to plot Voldemort's downfall. Wait for a Gallant Band of
Unlikely Heroes Battling Against the Odds to do it for you. They will have The
Power of Righteousness (and some really inspiring theme music) on their side.

*


What To Do If J.K Rowling Hates You

1. Take comfort in the fact that somewhere in the depths of the internet lurks a
small but passionate group fanatically devoted to you.

2. This passionate group will almost certainly devote pages and pages of
fanfiction to rescuing you and giving you make-overs/better lines/an interesting
back-story/redemption/true love/cups of tea. So take heart.

3. If you happen to be Umbridge, the above will unfortunately not apply to you,
as 99.9996% of readers hate your guts. But do not despair. Instead, enjoy being
bad as bad can be, safe in the knowledge that it's what you do best. (You know
you love it, you saucy minx).

4. Remember that no matter how much J.K Rowling may like you, she will have no
compunction about bumping you off the minute the plot demands it (c.f. Sirius
Black, Albus Dumbledore). MORAL: never trust an author.

*


What To Do When You Encounter Harry Potter

1. Do not mention his Destiny unless he refers to it first. If he does speak of
his Destiny, be admiring of his bravery and optimistic about his chances of
survival. Do not offer to speak at his funeral, or enquire whether the Potter
family vault is in good condition.

2. Do not mention the Tragic Death of his Godfather unless he refers to it
first. When speaking of Sirius, make sure you keep your remarks complimentary:
instead of "reckless" say "daring", instead of "bit of a bully" say "lovable
scamp" instead of "slightly insane" say "lively company", and so on.

3. Do not mention the Tragic Death of his Mentor unless he refers to it first.
If he does mention it, say "too bad", or something of that sort. You may want to
pat him on the shoulder, too.

4. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have an ingenious theory which proves that Snape was
actually acting from pure and virtuous motives and is in fact a tragic antihero
who will be dramatically redeemed in book 7, keep it to yourself.

5. DO NOT disrupt Harry's brooding, under any circumstances. As an Unlikely Hero
who must shoulder a Burden of Responsibility, struggle against Impossible Odds,
and come to terms with his Great and Terrible Destiny, Harry will have a certain
angst quota to fulfil each day, and will not take kindly to being interrupted.

6. Offer him something to eat. He will need to keep his strength up if he's
going to single-handedly save the world from evil. Good foods to offer would be
Kendal Mint Cake, energy bars, chocolate, and vitamin supplements.

7. DO NOT ply him with alcohol. He will probably end up lying naked on the floor
sobbing pathetically and singing "Que Sera, Sera" in a very high voice. Think
how embarrassing it would be if Voldemort turned up when he was doing this.

*


What To Do If You Have Accidentally Joined The Death Eaters And Now Regret It

1. Make sure your feelings of regret are genuine. You may just have had a
difficult day at work. Perhaps the muggles you were terrorizing were more
spirited than usual, or Voldemort decided to torture you for no apparent reason.
When things like these happen it is easy to think that a change of career will
solve all your problems. Examine your feelings closely: if you feel that –
despite its vexations – deep down you really love your job, then put your
doubts aside and get back to work (you insidious fiend, you).

2. If you are certain that you really want to leave the death eaters, DO NOT
inform Voldemort of your decision. He is unlikely to present you with a gold
watch and wish you luck in your future employment.

3. Sound out Dumbledore & Co. You may have to become a spy in order to convince
them you've genuinely changed. Be prepared to grovel for 3-5 years in order to
atone for your crimes.

4. Verbally abuse yourself at every opportunity. Make sure that no one is left
in doubt about your guilt about being a death eater. With practice, even the
most mundane conversation can be peppered with remorse and self-disgust. For
example, "Would you like a cup of tea?" can be met with the response: "Alas! I
(wretch that I am!) would greatly enjoy a cup of tea (not that I deserve it!)
with milk and two sugars (and may I be cursed for it!)"

5. Save up the money to have your dark mark removed by a competent medical
professional. DO NOT get drunk and attempt to cut it from your arm in an orgy of
guilt and self-loathing – this is silly, clichéd, and extremely messy.

6. Prepare yourself for the fact that for the rest of your life, whenever you
get into an argument with someone they will inevitably utter the "scathing"
retort: "Well at least I wasn't a DEATH EATER!" It may be helpful for you to
know that if you use someone's death eating past against them in an argument, it
automatically means that the argument is over, and your opponent has won (this
principle is known as Sev's Law).

7. Once you have been admitted into the side of light, refrain from blowing it
all by doing something stupid (like killing Dumbledore, for example).

*


What To Do If You Are Killed

1. Check that you are actually dying. It may just be a flesh wound.

2. If you are genuinely dying, deliver your last words. These should be thought
out before hand, to avoid the last thing you ever say being something really
lame like "Wands out, d'you reckon?" or "Come on, you can do better than that!"
But remember to keep your final speech short, otherwise your audience may lose
interest and wander off before you've finished.

3. Urge your listeners to avenge your death, regardless of how risky this will
be to accomplish. (It's not going to be your problem, after all.)

4. Remain stoical: remember that the heroism of your death is directly
proportional to the showiness of your funeral monument.

5. Once you are actually dead, decide whether or not you want to return as a
ghost. If you do, choose something/someone nifty to haunt. [Hint: deciding to
spend eternity haunting a toilet is not a good idea]

6. If reincarnation is an option, be sure to specify what gender and species you
want to come back as. Failure to do this may result in an unpleasant surprise
when you return to the mortal coil.

*


What To Do If It Is Prophesied That You Will Either Kill Voldemort Or Be Killed
By Him

1. Kill Voldemort.

2. Use your famous victory to angle yourself a lucrative advertising deal with a
soft drink company.

*


What To Do If Dramatic, Unexpected, Mystical, Magical, Mysterious, Exciting,
Quite Frightening Things Happen On An Annual Basis

1. Relax. This is completely normal.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
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http://mail.yahoo.com

Thought I'd share this, I found it off of a friend's (lhug_bereth) lj,
this was made before DH   Michelle     The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook:
Harry Potter   A Guide to Surviving the Worst in the Harry Potter
Universe, With No Illustrations   *   What To Do If The House Elves
Revolt Against All Wizardkind In An Orgy Of Rebellion and Carnage -
Don't Look At Me Like That It Could Happen   1. Don sturdy shoes.
Due to their size, house elves will usually attack an opponent's
feet first of all.   2. For similar reasons, armoured trousers are a
good idea.   3. If you are reasonably short, you may wish to disguise
yourself as an elf to avoid being attacked. To do this you will need a
tea towel and complete disregard for the rules of English grammar.   4.
Do not make the classic mistake of disguising yourself as the wrong sort
of elf. Lord of the Rings was very badly received amongst the house elf
community due to its erroneous portrayal of the elvish population as
being tall, blonde, and nancing, and you will only incense them by
dressing up as Legolas.   5. If cornered by a band of house elves, climb
a tall tree. Do not be afraid that they will cut the tree down, as house
elves are domestic servants and have no horticultural skills worth
mentioning. But do not be surprised if they chuck frying pans at you
instead.   6. Make friends with Hermione Granger. Join SPEW. Proclaim
your support for the rebellion from the rooftops. Avoid the Malfoys and
their ilk like the plague (until Malfoy Manor is razed to the ground, of
course, when you can stop by and do a little quiet pillaging).   *
What To Do If You Have To Attend A Formal Function   1. Make sure you
know well in advance what sort of function you are meant to be
attending. Avoid the embarrassing possibility of turning up to a
Hogwarts Yule Ball dressed for a Dark Revel, or vice versa.   2. Find
yourself a date. If you are attending a Yule Ball or similar, you will
need to win your date's acceptance with flowers, compliments, etc.
If you are attending a Dark Revel you will need to hit your date over
the head with something heavy and tie them up.   3. Think your outfit
through at least a week in advance. Make sure that your shoes, dress
robes, etc are all chosen with due care. If you are taking
chains/handcuffs, make sure they are not rusty and have been polished
(avoid cheap restraints, as these will often leave unsightly green marks
on your fellow guests' wrists, which is irritating for all
concerned.)   4. If you feel nervous about the event, practise a few
conversation-openers. Make sure these are appropriate to the sort of
function you happen to be attending. For example, "Dumbledore was a
pretty spiffy sort of bloke, wasn't he?" will not be well
received if you are attending an elegant soiree chez Voldemort –
whilst "Pass the bullwhip, please," is a perfect ice-breaker.
5. At the end of the evening, thank your host/hostess for a lovely time.
If you have been to a Dark Revel, be considerate and remember to take
any severed limbs with you. It is not the host/hostess' job to
reunite people with their misplaced body parts the day after a party.
*     What To Do If You Have To Spy On The Other Side Or The Other Other
Side   1. Make sure your will and other legal documents are in good
order.   2. Write insulting letters to everybody you know. Put them in a
secure place where they will be discovered on the event of your death.
(Make sure they aren't discovered before your death, obviously, in
order to avoid needless kerfuffle).   3. Behave suspiciously: constantly
move your eyes backwards and forwards as if watching an invisible tennis
match, chuckle ceaselessly under your breath, make annoyingly obscure
statements in a mysterious tone. This will immediately divert your
colleagues' suspicions, as it is well known that the most suspicious
person is never the spy.   4. If you are discovered, offer to become a
double agent. If you are discovered to be a double agent, offer to
become a triple agent. (Becoming a quadruple agent is not advised, as
you may well end by imploding out of sheer confusion.)   *     What To
Do If Voldemort Has Captured Your Close Friend/Relative As Part Of An
Unimaginative Plot   1. Take several deep, cleansing breaths.   2. Take
several more cleansing breaths.   3. Make sure that your friend/relative
has actually been captured. Do not accept dream visions/the word of
someone who is known to loathe you/a funny feeling in your little toe as
concrete proof.   4. Once you have checked that your friend/relative is
really captured, check again. You cannot be too careful about this
point. Imagine how humiliated you would be if you charged into
Voldemort's lair to rescue the hostage only to discover that he/she
is in fact sitting safe at home playing Monopoly with a close friend.
5. Once you have ascertained the capture is genuine, do not hastily
assemble a small group of your closest friends and attempt to liberate
your loved one. Instead, gather the cleverest people of your
acquaintance and concoct a fiendishly cunning escape plan for your
friend/relative's rescue.   6. Do not attend the rescue mission
personally. Instead, remain at home and blow up balloons for the welcome
home party that will follow your friend/relative's rescue.   7. If
you are unable to rescue your friend/relative, do not offer yourself as
a hostage in his/her place. Instead, meet a representative of
Voldemort's for tea at a neutral location (Switzerland, for
instance, or your local supermarket), and discuss ransom arrangements.
*     What To Do If You Encounter A Wizarding Invention/Cultural
Reference You Are Not Familiar With   1. Enquire what the
invention/cultural reference is at the earliest opportunity. It will
almost certainly be important to the story, and may also be important
for your personal safety.   2. If you are alone and encounter a
wizarding invention you have never seen before, don't touch it.   3.
Don't prod it with your wand.   4. Don't drink it.   5.
Don't jump into it.   6. Don't take it apart to see how it
works.   7. Don't befriend it and tell it all your deepest secrets.
8. In short, keep well away from anything until you are sure how it
works/what it does. Otherwise you may well experience a very messy
accident (c.f. Bartholomew Jones, the muggleborn wizard who attempted to
drink brandy from the Goblet of Fire in 1810, with disastrous
consequences).   *     What To Do If The School Is Attacked   1. Look
for an escape route. For example, use the secret passageway that leads
from Hogwarts to Honeydukes   2. Alternatively, escape using portkey,
broom, hippogriff, hot air balloon, or similar. DO NOT show yourself up
by forgetting that is impossible to apparate on Hogwarts' grounds.
You will die and Hermione Granger will spit on your grave.   3. If
escape seems impossible, hide.   4. If hiding is impossible, find a safe
place in the battle (under a table, or something).   5. DO NOT: tell
your friends how you wish to be buried, make your best friend promise to
look after your family if you die, say that you always wanted to see the
sea, talk about dead relatives you long to see again, wonder aloud what
heaven would look like, wisely remark that death is not to be feared,
etc, etc, etc.   6. Keep hold of your wand. As a precaution, take wands
from any dead bodies you may encounter. (Don't worry, they would
almost certainly want you to do this.)   7. If you loose your wand,
avail yourself of a makeshift weapon: phials of potion can be thrown at
an enemy, as can furniture, bricks, other students, etc.   8. If all
else fails, play dead. Gnaw at enemy ankles when you get the chance.   *
What To Do If You Are Attacked By A Dementor   1. Dementors feed off
happy feelings, so make yourself unappetising by thinking depressing
thoughts. Good topics would include: death, war, famine, disease,
poverty, global warming, the fact that you are being attacked by a
dementor.   2. If the dementor attacks you anyway, use a patronus charm.
Do not be embarrassed if your patronus form is something stupid, like a
snail or a packet of fish fingers. Dementors have no sense of humour,
and will therefore not mock you.   3. If you are unable to use a
patronus, fashion a decoy patronus from a large silver helium balloon, a
huge quantity of tinfoil, a gigantic light bulb, or anything else that
may be lying around.   4. Alternatively, when the dementor closes in on
you to deliver the Kiss, pat it on the cheek and say "I had a great
time tonight, babe, but let's not rush things, ok?" Whilst the
dementor is confused/revolted, run away.   *     What To Do When
Duelling A Death Eater   1. Remain on your guard at all times. Don't
get distracted by interesting scenery/the rather attractive Death Eater
standing some distance away/wondering whether you've forgotten to
tape Eastenders.   2. Aim to either stun or kill immediately. Don't
show off with fancy jinxes or sparkling repartee – it will just
waste time and make you look a total prat.   3. Do not taunt the death
eater in the hope that s/he may become so angry that s/he may make a
mistake. This is a stupid idea.   4. Make sure that you are fully
cognisant of where you are duelling. DO NOT duel near:   - a large vat
of deadly potion - a cage with some sort of deadly creature in it -
unoccupied death eaters who may assist your opponent - load-bearing
walls/pillars (if inside) - a sheer drop - a veiled gateway into the
great hereafter   *     What To Do If You Are Carrying Voldemort's
Vile Spawn Of Evil   1. Do your research. Giving birth to the
Misbegotten Offspring of Iniquity is not like having a normal baby. In
order to avoid unpleasant surprises, check how long your pregnancy will
last, which orifice the baby will emerge from, etc.   2. Choose
godparents carefully. They matter more in the Harry Potter universe, for
some reason. It is as yet unknown whether the godparent has any
financial claim on his/her godchild, or whether there's some kind of
prima nocte deal operating, but you don't want your offspring to
have a horrible surprise once s/he reaches the age of consent, so make
sure you plan ahead.   3. Rejoice in the fact that robes are convenient
and flattering garments to wear during pregnancy.   4. Prepare yourself
for pregnancy side-effects. Due to the fact that you are carrying
Voldemort's Accursed Progeny of Doom, you will be spared stretch
marks and morning sickness. Instead, prepare yourself for manic laughter
at inopportune moments, sweating blood, and the ability to turn your
head round 360 degrees.   5. After the birth, run away, as Voldemort
will have no further use for you and may well kill you to stop you
hanging around being a nuisance and pestering him about child support.
6. Sell your story to Witch Weekly, and live in comfort for the rest of
your life.   *     What To Do If You Are Being Subjected To An
Unforgivable   1. If the unforgivable is Avada Kedavra, get a friend or
relative to step in front of the curse, offering their life for yours.
Not only will this save you, you will also have some nifty protection
from your attacker in the future.   2. If it is Crucio, thrash around
with pain for a while. Feel free to let yourself go, as attempting to
put on a brave front will simply provoke your attacker to subject you to
the curse for longer.   3. If your attacker is putting crucio on you in
order to make you reveal an important secret, reveal the secret
immediately. Afterwards, claim that the death eater "tricked"
you into betraying your friends (this declaration should be made with
much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth – try to look as
wretched as possible).   4. If it is Imperio, check whether or not your
attacker is actually forcing you to do something you don't want to.
If you are being ordered to perpetrate acts of horrifying evil, you may
wish to resist. If, on the other hand, you are being ordered to eat
seven boxes of chocolates and take a long hot bath, you may find you
have no choice but to yield to the diabolically evil will which is
governing you.   5. The best way to resist imperio is to have heroic
strength of character.   6. If you do not happen to have heroic strength
of character, think of the most annoying song you can, and hum it to
yourself. This should effectively drive the voice of your attacker out
of your head.   7. If it doesn't work, the song you've selected
obviously isn't annoying enough. Have you tried "The song that
never ends?"   8. How about "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam"?
9. In extreme circumstances, you may have to try "It's a small
world after all", but this should only be used as a last resort and
with every possible precaution. (If "It's a small world after
all" proves unsuccessful, then your attacker is simply too powerful
and you are surely doomed. Sorry.)   *     What To Do If You Need To
Travel Through Hogwarts At Night   1. Ask yourself if the journey is
really necessary. Could it be put off until morning?   2. If your errand
is really essential, prepare yourself adequately beforehand. Make sure
you are wearing shoes that enable you to run.   3. Similarly, make sure
you are properly dressed. Avoid wearing pyjamas, as the likelihood of
running into someone else is high, and you don't want your
reputation to be tarnished by being seen in a gammy grey nightshirt, now
do you?   4. Sensible equipment to take includes:   - Invisibility cloak
- Marauders' map or similar - Your wand - Small first aid kit -
Sword - Full body armour - Protective helmet - Burly bodyguard or
henchperson   5. If it is practicable, inform a trustworthy friend of
your journey. This will ensure that there is someone to give the alarm
if you do not return.   6. Refuse your trustworthy friend's offer to
accompany you. It is unacceptable to drag your friends along with you in
your wild, irresponsible escapades. (Unless you are Harry Potter,
naturally, when you will probably be accompanied by a small entourage of
2-5 people as a matter of course).   7. Keep track of your bearings at
all times. It is easy to get lost in Hogwarts and stray off into
dangerous, forbidden locations which are important for plot purposes.
8. When out of your common room, never relax your guard for a moment.
Keep a watch for any students/ghosts/teachers/death eaters posing as
teachers/teachers posing as death eaters/giant
snakes/ex-convicts/cats/caretakers/people in invisibility
cloaks/incarnations of Voldemort that may be prowling the halls.   *
What To Do If You Encounter A Book   1. Flee. It is probably evil and
intent upon your destruction.   *     What To Do If You Have Several
Horcruxes Lying Around Which Are Essential For Preserving Your
Immortality And Without Which You Will Be Mortal And Hence Killable,
Making Them Vital Weapons For Your Enemies To Use Against You   1. Check
up on them from time to time to make sure people haven't nicked
them. Don't just strew them around the countryside as the whim takes
you.   *     What To Do If You Are Captured By Voldemort Or His
Henchpeople/Henchbeings   1. Try to lighten the situation. Make yourself
agreeable to your captors by complementing their dress sense, or crack a
few jokes. This will ease the tension and hopefully put all present at
their ease.   2. Assess the situation. Are you tied up? What death
eaters are guarding you? Where are you situated? For what purpose have
you been captured? Are you still alive? Answering questions like these
will help you to determine the best way to escape.   3. If you are
pureblood, make a big thing of it. Conversely, if you do not happen to
be pureblood, keep the fact a secret if you possibly can. Yelling
"I'm muggleborn and proud of it, you murdering death eater scum!
RAAAH!" is not advised unless you are either a total martyr or weary
of life.   4. Offer to join Voldemort. His followers keep dying or being
taken to Azkaban, so he will always be in need of extra staff. Pretend
you possess qualities lacking in his present death eaters: claim you are
a qualified masseuse, a gifted infiltrator, intelligent, etc.   5. Do
not offer sexual favours to Voldemort in return for your liberation.
(This point cannot be stressed strongly enough.)   6. If you are
imprisoned in a dungeon or similar, check whether there's anyone
else in there with you. A brave, resourceful cellmate could help you
escape. If you are less lucky then your cellmate may be completely
insane and clad in rags, and attempt to chew off your feet whilst
you're asleep.   7. REMEMBER: If you end up sharing a cell with
Remus Lupin, you will be obliged to sleep with him to avoid being eaten
when he becomes a werewolf. It is advised that you sleep with him
immediately on arrival, regardless of what stage of the lunar cycle it
happens to be, and whether or not he actually has access to a supply of
wolfsbane. You can never be too careful, after all.   *     What To Do
If Voldemort Attacks You   1. When he curses you, duck. The curse will
hit the death eater standing behind you. If you can keep this up for
long enough, his entire circle of death eaters will be dead, and it
should be fairly easy for you to run to safety.   2. Alternatively,
acquire a wand which is a brother to Voldemort's. Use priori
incantatum as a clever escape ploy.   3. If at all possible, be Harry
Potter.   4. Call Voldemort "Tom". It really annoys him, and
makes you appear formidable.   5. Better yet, up the ante and start
addressing him as "Bob."   *     What To Do If The Other Side
Wins   1. Do not despair. Running round in small circles or banging your
head repeatedly against a wall screaming "WHY?!! WHY?!!!!" will
make you an easy target for Death Eaters.   2. Assess your position. Are
you a known opponent of Voldemort? Are you pureblooded? Decide whether
or not it is possible for you to pretend to have been a supporter of
Voldemort all along.   3. If it is, then do so. Praise Voldemort at
every opportunity, and present him with some kind of offering: a chest
of gold pieces, a piece of valuable Slytherin memorabilia, the
Philosophers' stone, your firstborn, or similar.   4. If it is not
possible for you to pose as a supporter of Voldemort, go into hiding.
Choose a location as far away as possible. New Zealand or Australia
would be a good spot. America is a less advisable choice, as Voldemort
– a keen fan of Desperate Housewives – has made it clear that
this country will be next on his list of places to attack.   5. If you
cannot leave Britain, resist the temptation to "go muggle". You
will remain at risk, as muggles are a prime target of Voldemort's.
6. Instead, fake your own death. REMEMBER: this will make it impossible
for you to pay social calls. Many people pretending to be dead have
given themselves away by attending birthday parties, christenings, etc
after their own funeral.   7. DO NOT be tempted to plot Voldemort's
downfall. Wait for a Gallant Band of Unlikely Heroes Battling Against
the Odds to do it for you. They will have The Power of Righteousness
(and some really inspiring theme music) on their side.   *     What To
Do If J.K Rowling Hates You   1. Take comfort in the fact that somewhere
in the depths of the internet lurks a small but passionate group
fanatically devoted to you.   2. This passionate group will almost
certainly devote pages and pages of fanfiction to rescuing you and
giving you make-overs/better lines/an interesting
back-story/redemption/true love/cups of tea. So take heart.   3. If you
happen to be Umbridge, the above will unfortunately not apply to you, as
99.9996% of readers hate your guts. But do not despair. Instead, enjoy
being bad as bad can be, safe in the knowledge that it's what you do
best. (You know you love it, you saucy minx).   4. Remember that no
matter how much J.K Rowling may like you, she will have no compunction
about bumping you off the minute the plot demands it (c.f. Sirius Black,
Albus Dumbledore). MORAL: never trust an author.   *     What To Do When
You Encounter Harry Potter   1. Do not mention his Destiny unless he
refers to it first. If he does speak of his Destiny, be admiring of his
bravery and optimistic about his chances of survival. Do not offer to
speak at his funeral, or enquire whether the Potter family vault is in
good condition.   2. Do not mention the Tragic Death of his Godfather
unless he refers to it first. When speaking of Sirius, make sure you
keep your remarks complimentary: instead of "reckless" say
"daring", instead of "bit of a bully" say "lovable
scamp" instead of "slightly insane" say "lively
company", and so on.   3. Do not mention the Tragic Death of his
Mentor unless he refers to it first. If he does mention it, say "too
bad", or something of that sort. You may want to pat him on the
shoulder, too.   4. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have an ingenious theory
which proves that Snape was actually acting from pure and virtuous
motives and is in fact a tragic antihero who will be dramatically
redeemed in book 7, keep it to yourself.   5. DO NOT disrupt Harry's
brooding, under any circumstances. As an Unlikely Hero who must shoulder
a Burden of Responsibility, struggle against Impossible Odds, and come
to terms with his Great and Terrible Destiny, Harry will have a certain
angst quota to fulfil each day, and will not take kindly to being
interrupted.   6. Offer him something to eat. He will need to keep his
strength up if he's going to single-handedly save the world from
evil. Good foods to offer would be Kendal Mint Cake, energy bars,
chocolate, and vitamin supplements.   7. DO NOT ply him with alcohol. He
will probably end up lying naked on the floor sobbing pathetically and
singing "Que Sera, Sera" in a very high voice. Think how
embarrassing it would be if Voldemort turned up when he was doing this.
*     What To Do If You Have Accidentally Joined The Death Eaters And
Now Regret It   1. Make sure your feelings of regret are genuine. You
may just have had a difficult day at work. Perhaps the muggles you were
terrorizing were more spirited than usual, or Voldemort decided to
torture you for no apparent reason. When things like these happen it is
easy to think that a change of career will solve all your problems.
Examine your feelings closely: if you feel that – despite its
vexations – deep down you really love your job, then put your doubts
aside and get back to work (you insidious fiend, you).   2. If you are
certain that you really want to leave the death eaters, DO NOT inform
Voldemort of your decision. He is unlikely to present you with a gold
watch and wish you luck in your future employment.   3. Sound out
Dumbledore & Co. You may have to become a spy in order to convince them
you've genuinely changed. Be prepared to grovel for 3-5 years in
order to atone for your crimes.   4. Verbally abuse yourself at every
opportunity. Make sure that no one is left in doubt about your guilt
about being a death eater. With practice, even the most mundane
conversation can be peppered with remorse and self-disgust. For example,
"Would you like a cup of tea?" can be met with the response:
"Alas! I (wretch that I am!) would greatly enjoy a cup of tea (not
that I deserve it!) with milk and two sugars (and may I be cursed for
it!)"   5. Save up the money to have your dark mark removed by a
competent medical professional. DO NOT get drunk and attempt to cut it
from your arm in an orgy of guilt and self-loathing – this is silly,
clichéd, and extremely messy.   6. Prepare yourself for the fact that
for the rest of your life, whenever you get into an argument with
someone they will inevitably utter the "scathing" retort:
"Well at least I wasn't a DEATH EATER!" It may be helpful
for you to know that if you use someone's death eating past against
them in an argument, it automatically means that the argument is over,
and your opponent has won (this principle is known as Sev's Law).
7. Once you have been admitted into the side of light, refrain from
blowing it all by doing something stupid (like killing Dumbledore, for
example).   *     What To Do If You Are Killed   1. Check that you are
actually dying. It may just be a flesh wound.   2. If you are genuinely
dying, deliver your last words. These should be thought out before hand,
to avoid the last thing you ever say being something really lame like
"Wands out, d'you reckon?" or "Come on, you can do
better than that!" But remember to keep your final speech short,
otherwise your audience may lose interest and wander off before
you've finished.   3. Urge your listeners to avenge your death,
regardless of how risky this will be to accomplish. (It's not going
to be your problem, after all.)   4. Remain stoical: remember that the
heroism of your death is directly proportional to the showiness of your
funeral monument.   5. Once you are actually dead, decide whether or not
you want to return as a ghost. If you do, choose something/someone nifty
to haunt. [Hint: deciding to spend eternity haunting a toilet is not a
good idea]   6. If reincarnation is an option, be sure to specify what
gender and species you want to come back as. Failure to do this may
result in an unpleasant surprise when you return to the mortal coil.   *
What To Do If It Is Prophesied That You Will Either Kill Voldemort Or Be
Killed By Him   1. Kill Voldemort.   2. Use your famous victory to angle
yourself a lucrative advertising deal with a soft drink company.   *
What To Do If Dramatic, Unexpected, Mystical, Magical, Mysterious,
Exciting, Quite Frightening Things Happen On An Annual Basis   1. Relax.
This is completely normal.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: General MadDog <dallyheartache@...>
To: angelkitty78@...; ann <crewsfence@...>; cba707@...;
Clyde.Eller@...; christina gority <seagority@...>; amanda camo h
<dark_raven_cat_mistress@...>; stacey hartzog <browneyedmadien@...>;
Jarred James Johnson <taran47@...>; morgan kennedy <horse1nc@...>;
robert kennedy <kennedy1nc@...>; deborah kennedy <dlgkennedy@...>;
Erin Shively <emshively@...>; falon d snow <sunset_28634@...>;
Michelle Souther <maxwell_demon78@...>; stacey <sdhartzog@...>;
v_digorga@...; Tammy Waddell <gagetwoman@...>
Sent: Tuesday, April 8, 2008 9:40:29 PM
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete



--- On Mon, 4/7/08, Falon Snow <sunset_28634@...> wrote:

From: Falon Snow <sunset_28634@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: "Holly Cartright" <hollywoodbarbie2006@...>, "darlene"
<wessy1@...>, "Gemma" <gemsugar2000@...>, "amanda haynes"
<dark_raven_cat_mistress@...>, "jarred" <taran47@...>, "Katty"
<kattsplace2004@...>, "Amanda Jane Kennedy" <dallyheartache@...>,
"mom" <sewingdogs@...>, "Ashley Pope" <gothicarrival16@...>, "cerise
stoukas" <greekmedicchick@...>, "Sue" <tishsuz@...>
Date: Monday, April 7, 2008, 1:53 PM




Note: forwarded message attached.


Falon Snow


You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total
Access, No Cost.


christie johnson <christiedj1@...> wrote:
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:40:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: christie johnson <christiedj1@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: tim baucom <otis65466@...>, Laurin beck <tink_1505@...>,
chris bishop <tractornut7@...>, nathan cabe <deerslayeer82@...>,
Marco Couch <dtbass@...>, Teresa France <francet@...>,
jimmy h <jamman95@...>, dee harrelson <mbeachdee@...>,
deborah james <horselady61@...>, Tish Jones <tishjones@...>,
David Long <dlong4@...>,
Becky mcdaniel <rebelicious8210@...>,
James White <biggie_692002@...>

Note: forwarded message attached.



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total
Access, No Cost.
http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.comDate: Mon, 31 Mar 2008
06:19:34 -0700 (PDT)
From: deborah james <horselady61@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: Christie Johnson <christiedj1@...>,
janet rutledge <janetpooh98@...>,
Michelle Wolcott <shelmay6869@...>,
patricia evans <missespatty262000@...>

Note: forwarded message attached.



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Special deal for Yahoo! users & friends - No Cost. Get a month of Blockbuster
Total Access now
http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text3.comDate: Sat, 29 Mar 2008
22:26:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: dena sandwick <u2cancdestiney@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: tina arthur <taldridg@...>, george bailey <conwayshorty123@...>,
deborah <horselady61@...>, Simple Guitar <ok4u2c2@...>,
m.hudson07@..., randy <wizardrp@...>,
dustin sandwick <leesandwick2006@...>,
dennis sandwick <dennissandwick@...>,
carol scoggins <lorac77@...>,
carol scoggins <lorak77@...>, dave staples <chefd55@...>



Note: forwarded message attached.


OMG, Sweet deal for Yahoo! users/friends: Get A Month of Blockbuster Total
Access, No Cost. W00tFrom: m.hudson07@...
To: lsuggs@... (Lisa Suggs), CRAIGRICH1204@... (craig rich),
oraetlabora@... (george mitchell), MNGR0044@... (frank martin),
mhudson001@... (monte hudson), smokey112501@... (BRIAN GRIMM),
lefsagal@... (sherri gacek), u2cancdestiney@... (dena),
ralcat1996@... (cathy), kaylabrook3@... (kayla cartrette),
anddoer@... (DONNA ANDERSON), rvalbert@... (vicki albertson)
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:32:50 +0000




-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: arla glomstad <astad41@...>
To: Roma Solberg <romasolb12@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:59:21 +0000


Note: forwarded message attached.

ARLA GLOMSTAD
1607 EAST ASHMORE
MONTEVIDEO MN. 56265
320-269-8369



Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
From: arla glomstad <astad41@...>
To: Roma Solberg <romasolb12@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:59:21 +0000

Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 10:20:40 -0700 (PDT)
From: Phyllis Nider <phylnider@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: arla glomstad <astad41@...>



Marge Moffenbier <grammakettle@...> wrote:
Date: Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:08:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Marge Moffenbier <grammakettle@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: Robin Bell <whimzey@...>, Janelle Bowman <bbrandoniron@...>,
Terry Bryer's <tdbryers@...>,
Amanda Cocke <.cockefamily5@...>,
Nancy Couhig <Nancy.Couhig@...>, Louison Debra <dllouison@...>,
Andi Gardner <andi_917@...>, Kathy Gonsor <kgonsor@...>,
Florence Krueger <always@...>,
Vivian Lowenstein <vlowenstein@...>,
Laura Lowenstein <lalalowen@...>, Dory Lunzer <janddlunzer@...>,
Joyce Miller <jitty@...>, Judy Mills <jmills813@...>,
Paul Moffenbier <papamoff@...>,
Angie Moffenbier <angmoffenbier@...>,
Allyn Moffenbier <jrsilo43@...>,
Nakena Moffenbier <lost_calling@...>,
Phyllis Nider <phylnider@...>, Jane Randall <janeran77@...>,
June Rohrbach <J_LRobuk@...>, Kris Sailer <occutherapist@...>,
Sharon Villenueva <sharebear31@...>,
Michelle Zach <bella_10112003@...>



Note: forwarded message attached.


Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it
now.Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:31:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Andi G <andi_917@...>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
To: Andi Gardner <andi_917@...>

Note: forwarded message attached.



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
From: "Annette Borman" <amborman@...>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Subject: Fw: Lord's Prayer-Beautiful-don't delete
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:19:35 -0800



This is beautiful,even to a non religious person

Be sure to go all the way to see the new postage stamp!!!
WOW !!!!!







I hope you enjoy this as much as I.

If God brings me to it, he will bring me through it.

The Lord's Prayer like you have never seen


During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this
opportunity.

(Literally it is only One minute!) All you have to do is the following: You
simply say

'The Lords Prayer' for the person that sent you this message:



The Lords Prayer



Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name,

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who

trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.

Amen.


Next, you send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more

people will have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of

people praying for others..




Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life,

for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.



If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the instructions!



Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before My
Father'





This is a simple test.

If you love God and you are not ashamed of

all the great things that He has done for you,

send this to everyone you know,

and the person that send it to you!!!








God loves you and watches over you every day.


If God brings me to it, he will bring me through it




----- Here is the new postage stamp that will be issued in September. Isn't it
awesome?

;




READ AND RETURN (sorry - will not break this)



May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be.

'I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings
have trouble remembering how to fly.'



Just send this to people and see what happens. Do not break this, please.






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<http://www.windowslive.com/share.html?ocid=TXT_TAGHM_Wave2_sharelife_012008>  =



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sender immediately by return email, delete this email and destroy any
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Connect and share in new ways with Windows Live. Get it now!

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I haven't read those yet, but they're on my list.

-------------- Original message --------------
From: "Kystar MacDreugan" <kystar_dangaron@...>
I have, once a long time ago, but I don't own the full set for those
two series. And what I remember of the characters it wasn't as
enthralling as Belgaraid and Malloreon.

Did you ever read "The Redemption of Althalus" or "The Dreamers Series"?

Althalus reminds me a lot of Belgarath, actually. And the Dreamers
Series is just neat!

--- In KatlingGON@..., Stryder_Nurren@... wrote:
>
>
> Now I'm curious. Those books are my favorite fantasy novels of all
time. Have read the Elenium and the Tamuli as well?




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have, once a long time ago, but I don't own the full set for those
two series. And what I remember of the characters it wasn't as
enthralling as Belgaraid and Malloreon.

Did you ever read "The Redemption of Althalus" or "The Dreamers Series"?

Althalus reminds me a lot of Belgarath, actually. And the Dreamers
Series is just neat!

--- In KatlingGON@..., Stryder_Nurren@... wrote:
>
>
> Now I'm curious. Those books are my favorite fantasy novels of all
time.  Have read the Elenium and the Tamuli as well?

Now I'm curious. Those books are my favorite fantasy novels of all time.  Have
read the Elenium and the Tamuli as well?
-------------- Original message --------------
From: "Kystar MacDreugan" <kystar_dangaron@...>
...regarding "Azkaban's Heir."

I'd like to ask the Author if they had ever read The Belgariad and The
Malloreon by David (& Leah) Eddings?
(Books in the Belgariad: Pawn of Prophecy, Queen of Sorcery,
Magician's Gambit, Castle of Wizardry, Enchanter's End Game; books in
the Malloreon: Guardians of the West, King of the Murgos, Demon Lord
of Karanda, Sorceress of Darshiva, Seeress of Kell.)

It's a curiosity of mine, and I'll be happy to say why after I find
out yes or no.

BTW - I hope this story is going to be continued! I like it a LOT!




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

...regarding "Azkaban's Heir."

I'd like to ask the Author if they had ever read The Belgariad and The
Malloreon by David (& Leah) Eddings?
(Books in the Belgariad: Pawn of Prophecy, Queen of Sorcery,
Magician's Gambit, Castle of Wizardry, Enchanter's End Game; books in
the Malloreon: Guardians of the West, King of the Murgos, Demon Lord
of Karanda, Sorceress of Darshiva, Seeress of Kell.)

It's a curiosity of mine, and I'll be happy to say why after I find
out yes or no.

BTW - I hope this story is going to be continued! I like it a LOT!

At 03:22 AM 3/22/2008, you wrote:

>lol, i got bored and decided to draw something
>
>though i've never read this particular fic before... I think it works.

I like it! Great drawing!

Cheers!
Karen

lol, i got bored and decided to draw something

though i've never read this particular fic before... I think it works.

image link-->
http://pictures.fanart-central.net/a/Alexis_Hoheimer/673341.jpg

--- In KatlingGON@..., "Spirit White"
<SpiritWhite13@...> wrote:
>
> I just get this vision of the huge Azkaban from the movies with ratty,
> lank gray hair growing from the top.  Or maybe a wild black curly poof
> ball...*giggles madly*
>
> On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 3:30 PM, chessmaster360ca
> <umarkhan15@...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In KatlingGON@..., "Spirit White"
> >
> > <SpiritWhite13@> wrote:
> > >
> > > *snickers* I think you mean *heir*. Azkaban's hair...I wonder what

lol i think of plant like arms in black flailing around...something
like the Devil's Snare XD
> > > color it is?
> > >
> > > On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM, chessmaster360ca
> > > <umarkhan15@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Will that story be updated? or is it abandoned?
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > oops lol
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

i hope it isn't abandoned
i lve this story


To: KatlingGON@...: SpiritWhite13@...: Thu, 20 Mar
2008 08:11:51 -0700Subject: Re: [KatlingGON] Azkaban's hair




*snickers* I think you mean *heir*. Azkaban's hair...I wonder whatcolor it is?On
Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM, chessmaster360ca<umarkhan15@...>
wrote:>>>>> Will that story be updated? or is it abandoned?>>






_________________________________________________________________
Amazing prizes every hour with Live Search Big Snap
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I just get this vision of the huge Azkaban from the movies with ratty,
lank gray hair growing from the top.  Or maybe a wild black curly poof
ball...*giggles madly*

On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 3:30 PM, chessmaster360ca
<umarkhan15@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> --- In KatlingGON@..., "Spirit White"
>
> <SpiritWhite13@...> wrote:
> >
> > *snickers* I think you mean *heir*. Azkaban's hair...I wonder what
> > color it is?
> >
> > On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM, chessmaster360ca
> > <umarkhan15@...> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Will that story be updated? or is it abandoned?
> > >
> > >
> >
> oops lol
>
>
>
>

--- In KatlingGON@..., "Spirit White"
<SpiritWhite13@...> wrote:
>
> *snickers*  I think you mean *heir*.  Azkaban's hair...I wonder what
> color it is?
>
> On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM, chessmaster360ca
> <umarkhan15@...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Will that story be updated? or is it abandoned?
> >
> >
>
oops lol

*snickers*  I think you mean *heir*.  Azkaban's hair...I wonder what
color it is?

On Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM, chessmaster360ca
<umarkhan15@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> Will that story be updated? or is it abandoned?
>
>