HI Pettina & Lea,

Thank you for your lovely messages to me - they meant a lot.

I have found it very important lately to search out stories of other women who have been through anencephaly & understand the variety of experiences women have.

We have another ultrasound to "see" Matthew tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it and hope that he is in a good position to see him. We are taking Anabelle with us this time too.

Pettina, I would like to meet you if you are comfortable with that. So, perhaps we could email further about that if you like.

Thanks,

Vanessa

--- On Tue, 1/7/08, pettinabeves <pettinabeves@...> wrote:

From: pettinabeves <pettinabeves@...>
Subject: [as_ap] Re: Welcome Vanessa
To: as_ap@...
Received: Tuesday, 1 July, 2008, 4:43 PM

Vanessa

Wow.. Our stories sound so similiar. I ilive on the central Coast
and at 6 weeks was told I had most likely miscarried our precious
Mercy Grace but 2 weeks later there her heart beat was. After 3
weeks they checked to make sure the bleed was clearing and i found
out that my daughter had anencephaly. I was 11.5 weeks at the time.
With a 6 month old at home.
My husband and i are also christians tho we kept the news to ourself
as it was late Friday and we had to have a level 2 scan on the
Monday. The anencephaly was confirmed and we were told that we HAD
to abort. Luckily we had the weekend as my husband and i were unsure
of this decision. When then went home to think it through and were
given a week so the EASY termination option could still be done. Wow
are some doctors horrid.
We decided that we would be best keeping her as long as we possibly
could.
At the 19 week scan we discovered we were having another little
girl. Mercy Grace.
At 38 weeks 4 days i had a selective induction. Luckily one lot of
gel was all i needed to put me in full labour.
On Monday 24th September 2007 our beautiful Mercy Grace was born
alive and weighing a whole 4 pounds 5 ounces.
We were even further blessed when our beautiful daughter carried on
living for another 5 weeks 4 days 18.5 hours.
Isabella was 13 months when Mercy Grace was born. so a bit younger
than what you are experiencing so was never really explained to her
that Mercy was sick tho she knew i was pregnant and would frequently
feed her the bottle thru my belly button.
To this day she kisses Mercys photos and cuddles her bear tight.
They formed a lovely bond.

You appear to live so close so if you would like to catch up please
let me know though dont feel any pressure.

Pettina

--- In as_ap@yahoogroups. com.au, Chris & Vanessa Murphy
<chrisandvanessamur phy@...> wrote:
>
> Hi everyone,
>  
> It has been very interesting to read of your experiences at the
moment, especially those going through a subsequent pregnancy and
all the anxiety that this brings. I’m not yet at that point, but
it is good to know there are people out there who understand what
I’m going through now and will go through in the future.
>  
> I wanted to share a bit more about myself with you all. I am
currently 29 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, Matthew who is
anencephalic. We found out at the 12 week scan, and of course were
shocked and upset about the diagnosis. I had been taking folate and
there was no family history or anything like that for us to even
suspect that there may be a problem. In fact during the ultrasound,
I told the sonographer how all I really wanted to see was that the
heart was beating, and what a relief to see that. She completed the
scan before sending the radiographer in, who told us they had
detected an abnormality and we would have to go and see our GP about
it. What a terrible 30 or 40 minutes of waiting to find out what was
wrong! It makes me feel teary and a bit sick just recalling the fear
that I felt at that moment.
>  
> Anyway, our GP was lovely and took all the time we needed, even
though it was after 5pm and she had a waiting room full of people
yet to see. We found the decision to continue the pregnancy an easy
one, and my husband (Chris) and I were both in agreement on this
one, thankfully. We are both Christians, and felt that it was not
our decision as to how long our baby should live, and we were
prepared to go through with the pregnancy as long as it would
happen. This baby, which we found out at 19 weeks is a boy (now
called Matthew) is a precious member of our family, no matter how
short his life is, and we thank God for giving us Matthew to look
after for this time.
>  
> We have had a lot of support from our friends (mostly from our
church “family�) and our own families too, although they are
facing their own grief through this, I guess, and some of them
don’t live close by, which has made communication difficult. One
of our biggest challenges has been talking to our 2 year old
daughter Anabelle (almost 2 years 5 months) about Matthew and trying
to give her little bits of information about him so her expectations
will not be too far off when it comes to the birth/afterwards. She
is very clued up about the fact that Mummy is having a baby, and has
been from very early on (before the scan), so there has been no
hiding the fact. She says things now like “Belle love Matthew�,
“Matthew’s nice� and she kisses my belly and says hello to
him. I would be interested to hear of any of your experiences with
older siblings and how you explained things to them and especially
anyone who may have had 2-3 year old
> children at the time.
>  
> Today we had an appointment with the head paediatrician at
Maitland hospital, which is where we will be having Matthew. He was
really nice and answered all our questions, although we may not see
him again â€" it is hard to predict what we/Matthew might need, but
at least we know they are there if we want to call on them.
>  
> I’ll leave this email at that â€" I look forward to being able
to “type up� my feelings again and share them with you - this
has been good for me.
>  
> Thanks for your support,
> Love Vanessa
>
> --- On Tue, 27/5/08, Lea <leannec72@. ..> wrote:
>
> From: Lea <leannec72@. ..>
> Subject: [as_ap] Welcome Vanessa
> To: as_ap@yahoogroups. com.au
> Received: Tuesday, 27 May, 2008, 11:32 PM
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Vanessa, welcome to AS~AP
>
> I am so sad to read that you are needing the support of our group
> during your pregnancy, I dearly hope that you will find that we
are
> able to give you good counsel as you wade through the ups and
downs
> of your emotions at this time.
>
> My name is Lea, I'm co-founder of the group. I gave birth to my
twin
> son ~Ben~ and his sister Nara on 8 June 2006 at 34 weeks
gestation,
> ~Ben~ survived for 1 hour and 21 minutes and he passed away
> peacefully in his daddy's arms.
>
> We live in far northern NSW along with our eldest daughter Sage,
Nara
> our surviving twin and our rainbow baby Arden.
>
> Please feel free to write and tell us all about yourself...feel
free
> to ask as many questions and talk as much as you need to about
your
> feelings, that's what we're here for.
>
> If you feel you might like to talk to me on the phone, please send
me
> an email and I'll give you a buzz or vice versa.
>
> Lea xxxxxx
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email
address.
> www.yahoo7.com. au/mail
>