Hello Vanessa,

Your post has made me feel so sad. Meeting your son for the first
should be a wonderful moment, but for us all here, it has not been
so. I think we are lucky for the fact that whether stillborn or
alive, we have been able to meet our babies and spend time with
them, as I know you will. I do feel for all of the other parents
out there who don't get to meet their babies at all for whatever
reason. Spend as much time as you want with Matthew, the midmives
are lovely about letting you spend time with your baby. When you
think back on the moment that you met Matthew, it will be you
memories that you will think on forever. We did get photos of
Isabell but my memory of holding her and being with her have been
the most comforting. If I could go back, I would of spent more time
with her before giving her back to the midwives as that was the last
time I saw her. Your post has brought all of my memories of her
birth flooding back. I wish you all the best with the birth.

Take Care
Love Jenny


--- In as_ap@..., Chris & Vanessa Murphy
<chrisandvanessamurphy@...> wrote:
>
> One week to go…..
> And how do I feel?
> Sad…sad about having to say goodbye soon. I guess I’ve always
known that this day would come, but to be just a week away seems
surreal. It is hard to process all the emotions and thoughts I have
at this point, while at the same time looking ahead to a time of
physical pain (the birth) and discomfort (all that stuff after the
birth) and wondering how I will ever get through being in hospital,
missing my girl and being too emotional to face my friends and my
normal life for a while.
> Saying goodbye is so hard to do. It makes me realise how terrible
a diagnosis of a terminal illness must be for any family. To know
that there is only so much time left with a loved one. Only in this
case, that loved one is inside me and I haven’t even met him yet!
I do look forward to meeting him now, but how I pray that he will be
alive when we meet. Chris reminded me last week how important it is
for the two of us to have our special time with our son and not to
be impatient to have his short life filled with meeting family and
friends, having photos taken and “doing” things. It is so hard
because I grieve the fact that many of my friends will never meet
him or never meet him alive, that I won’t have that usual time of
getting to know him, and learning to care for him, that there
won’t be the usual baby stuff arriving in the mail for weeks after
he’s born. I am however, conscious of the fact that as his mummy I
can still care for his needs
> in each moment, however long those moments might be, that I need
to relish every minute I get to look at him, and to remember that
the only regrets we might have in years to come will be that we
didn’t spend our special time with him before sharing him with
family and friends.
> Last night I took Matthew with me (of course) to church for
perhaps (or should I say probably) the last time. Up until now he
has just been a part of me �" going where I go �" and how I will
face the world without his presence in my tummy I don’t know. On
Thursday I am having a baby celebration with some close friends. It
was Carolyn’s idea and I am so glad that she organised it all
before she ran it past me. It will be a good thing to do, especially
on my due date, and I hope I have the strength to thank those
friends for their incredible love and courage over the last 6 months
in caring for us.
> Thank you too for your support through your messages and the
opportunity I have to write things like this.
> Love Vanessa
>  
>
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