Hi Everyone,

I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first post.
I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I first
became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part and
decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to look
over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my feelings
at the time of having my little man. So there the story stayed because
everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.

My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel baby
Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally name him
but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child that).
I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again. I feel
its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt that there
is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me. We did interrupt
the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot of family
etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant then, but I
gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me. When ever I
think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state would've been like
had I have continued with the pregnancy. I'm not really sure if this makes
sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not post on the
wall again.

I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at 36weeks
because he could get passed my pelvis. So at my doctors appointment on
wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong
with the birth. We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in
law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with
the washing etc that I can't do. Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to
book time off work.

Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.

Justine