Hey every one,

How are you all? Sorry for my absence lately. With every thing that

has happened over

the past few weeks i haven't wanted to post any thing in here as what

i'm going through at the moment seems like nothing compared to what

poor Chris and Vanessa have been through over the past weeks.



  I done a post in huggies (not realising that Pettina was part of the

group)and she responded to my post which i must add has been a great

help, especially knowing that she is going through a similar thing at

the moment as well. Any way, this is what i wrote in

huggies............



I am currently 26wks pregnant with bub number 3 and this is going to

sound so stupid but i am absolutly petrified about giving birth. Even

though i have done it twice before with no worries and reasonably

quick

births (the 1st was 5hrs and the 2nd was 4hrs). Over the past

11months

i have suffered alot of heart break. In novemeber last year i had a

medical termination at 14wks due to my little girl having a terminal

condition called anencephaly and then in March this year i had a

miscarriage at 12wks, i then fell pregga's again straight away with

this bubba. I don't know what it is but just the thought of giving

birth again is enough to scare me s***tless. I really want to have a

c-

section this time but DH is totally against it. I guess i just don't

want any thing to go wrong. I just want my baby out and in my arms

and

to know that he is safe. I doubt that the hospital would give me a

ceaser any way, especially when there is no medical reason why i

should

have one. I am torn between the 2 though. I think to myself about the

6wks after the ceaser and not being able to do any thing compared to

being able to do every thing straight after the birth. AGRRRRRR, what

to do?????????????



Basically, i am just scared that some thing else is going to go wrong

and I want to do every thing i possibly can to avoid that from

happening and if that means having a ceaser then thats what i'll do.

I

also think that since Angela's anniversary is coming up (10th of

November) this might be playing a part in my anxiety. I just feel so

confused and emotional.



As i said, my little dialemma is nothing compared to every thing else

that has happened in our group but i would still appreciate a

responce

if any one else has been in the same situation. Thanks heaps every

one.



Liz xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox



P.S. Lea, did you get my e-mail i sent you a few weeks ago with all

of

my details in it????????

Hi Liz,



Your feelings are extremely justified and definately worth posting,

otherwise what would be the purpose of this group.  I just wanted to

say that my good friend was too scared to go through natural labour

(she is due early December) so she insisted to her doctors that she

wanted a caesarian and they said 'fine', so that is what she is

having.  She had an emergency caesar with her last baby and I think

she was too scared to go through the pain of labour this time

around.  So I say, do what you want to do.  If you want a caesar

then that is what the hospital has to do.  I can understand how

nervous you must be feeling and also with Angela's anniversary

coming (Isabell's is 6th dec) but I really hope you work through

your anxieties so that you can start to relax before you baby is due.



Take care of yourself

Jenny





--- In as_ap@..., "Elizabeth" <epsmith@...> wrote:

>

> Hey every one,

> How are you all? Sorry for my absence lately. With every thing

that

> has happened over

> the past few weeks i haven't wanted to post any thing in here as

what

> i'm going through at the moment seems like nothing compared to

what

> poor Chris and Vanessa have been through over the past weeks.

>

>  I done a post in huggies (not realising that Pettina was part of

the

> group)and she responded to my post which i must add has been a

great

> help, especially knowing that she is going through a similar thing

at

> the moment as well. Any way, this is what i wrote in

> huggies............

>

> I am currently 26wks pregnant with bub number 3 and this is going

to

> sound so stupid but i am absolutly petrified about giving birth.

Even

> though i have done it twice before with no worries and reasonably

> quick

> births (the 1st was 5hrs and the 2nd was 4hrs). Over the past

> 11months

> i have suffered alot of heart break. In novemeber last year i had

a

> medical termination at 14wks due to my little girl having a

terminal

> condition called anencephaly and then in March this year i had a

> miscarriage at 12wks, i then fell pregga's again straight away

with

> this bubba. I don't know what it is but just the thought of giving

> birth again is enough to scare me s***tless. I really want to have

a

> c-

> section this time but DH is totally against it. I guess i just

don't

> want any thing to go wrong. I just want my baby out and in my arms

> and

> to know that he is safe. I doubt that the hospital would give me a

> ceaser any way, especially when there is no medical reason why i

> should

> have one. I am torn between the 2 though. I think to myself about

the

> 6wks after the ceaser and not being able to do any thing compared

to

> being able to do every thing straight after the birth. AGRRRRRR,

what

> to do?????????????

>

> Basically, i am just scared that some thing else is going to go

wrong

> and I want to do every thing i possibly can to avoid that from

> happening and if that means having a ceaser then thats what i'll

do.

> I

> also think that since Angela's anniversary is coming up (10th of

> November) this might be playing a part in my anxiety. I just feel

so

> confused and emotional.

>

> As i said, my little dialemma is nothing compared to every thing

else

> that has happened in our group but i would still appreciate a

> responce

> if any one else has been in the same situation. Thanks heaps every

> one.

>

> Liz xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

>

> P.S. Lea, did you get my e-mail i sent you a few weeks ago with

all

> of

> my details in it????????

>

Liz.

Im soo glad you decided to post.

Ive been thinking of you alot and what you (we are feeling). I must

admit id like to avoid a ceasar. Bella is too full on and John cant

take much time off work.

I had to go to the hospital last night to have the little man

checked. He is doing ok. Just giving his mamma a scare. While i was

there i heard 2 babies be born, healthy cries and all and i was able

to imagine a healthy baby in my arms or in one of those little

hospital cradles and it was such a refreshing thought. Blankets

wrapped all tight around him with a little blue beanie on his head.

I could almost smell him.

Dont get me wrong it hasnt allayed my fears greatly but i realised

how powerful just a single positive thought amongst the chaos of

emotions is. I felt good for a few minutes.

I also have found my new midwife last week to help with some of the

fear factor. Im just sorry you are yet to recieve great care from

your local Hospital.

Im here if you need to rebound.



And yes it is getting close to your little ones angel day. Your

emotions must be flying high. I know mine are. Mercy's is November 3.



Thinking of you lots



Pettina



--- In as_ap@..., Lea Coleman <leannec72@...> wrote:

>

> Liz, firstly, I probably did, we've all been so sick in this

house, I may have missed a lot that was going on, I'll go in search

and make sure when I get a chance love.

>  

> Secondly, I agree that your fears are very natural, I too had

great fears..but in the opposite, that I'd have another c-section.

In the end I did have another c-section and my fears were put to

rest when the procedure was nothing much like the previous one I'd

had.

>  

> I had feared that if Arden wasn't out of me with the minimum of

fuss something would go wrong.  I'm glad I had him the way I did,

and now realise that although my fears were normal and quite ok,

they were nothing but negative energy.

>  

> I know how much easier it is to say than to do, but please, try

your heart out to relax into this decision, be guided by your heart,

your head and your medical professionals too.  Don't let anyone

bully you into making anything but the choice right for you and your

precious rainbow baby.  If you want a c-section with a cherry on

top you see to it that you get it.

>  

> In my experience, bereaved mums are given a great deal of

consideration when having subsequent babies and you need to stress

upon them your emotional needs and how important they are. 

>  

>

>  

> Lea xxxxxx

> Mum to Sage, Nara, angel baby ~Ben~ and rainbow baby Arden

> Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-

fraught heart and bids it break.  ~William Shakespeare

>

>

>

>

> ----- Original Message ----

> From: Elizabeth <epsmith@...>

> To: as_ap@...

> Sent: Wednesday, 8 October, 2008 3:26:23 PM

> Subject: [as_ap] Hi

>

> Hey every one,

> How are you all? Sorry for my absence lately. With every thing

that

> has happened over

> the past few weeks i haven't wanted to post any thing in here as

what

> i'm going through at the moment seems like nothing compared to

what

> poor Chris and Vanessa have been through over the past weeks.

>

> I done a post in huggies (not realising that Pettina was part of

the

> group)and she responded to my post which i must add has been a

great

> help, especially knowing that she is going through a similar thing

at

> the moment as well. Any way, this is what i wrote in

> huggies............

>

> I am currently 26wks pregnant with bub number 3 and this is going

to

> sound so stupid but i am absolutly petrified about giving birth.

Even

> though i have done it twice before with no worries and reasonably

> quick

> births (the 1st was 5hrs and the 2nd was 4hrs). Over the past

> 11months

> i have suffered alot of heart break. In novemeber last year i had

a

> medical termination at 14wks due to my little girl having a

terminal

> condition called anencephaly and then in March this year i had a

> miscarriage at 12wks, i then fell pregga's again straight away

with

> this bubba. I don't know what it is but just the thought of giving

> birth again is enough to scare me s***tless. I really want to have

a

> c-

> section this time but DH is totally against it. I guess i just

don't

> want any thing to go wrong. I just want my baby out and in my arms

> and

> to know that he is safe. I doubt that the hospital would give me a

> ceaser any way, especially when there is no medical reason why i

> should

> have one. I am torn between the 2 though. I think to myself about

the

> 6wks after the ceaser and not being able to do any thing compared

to

> being able to do every thing straight after the birth. AGRRRRRR,

what

> to do?????????????

>

> Basically, i am just scared that some thing else is going to go

wrong

> and I want to do every thing i possibly can to avoid that from

> happening and if that means having a ceaser then thats what i'll

do.

> I

> also think that since Angela's anniversary is coming up (10th of

> November) this might be playing a part in my anxiety. I just feel

so

> confused and emotional.

>

> As i said, my little dialemma is nothing compared to every thing

else

> that has happened in our group but i would still appreciate a

> responce

> if any one else has been in the same situation. Thanks heaps every

> one.

>

> Liz xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

>

> P.S. Lea, did you get my e-mail i sent you a few weeks ago with

all

> of

> my details in it????????

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Yahoo!7 Groups Links

>

>

>

>

>       Make the switch to the world&#39;s best email. Get Yahoo!7

Mail! http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail

>

Hi Everyone,

I just joined today. I joined a similar group about 3 years ago but I never

posted anything on it. I guess I just wasn't ready.



I have shared a very difficult time in my life with you all. For several

reasons. If anyone can understand, it would be others who have gone through such

a terrible thing. I also felt that it would be a kind of catharis for me, and

allow to move forward. And perhaps, someone who is going through this now may

find something in it that helps them move forward.



Although, thinking about what I wrote, it doesn't sound like I have come very

far in such a long time, but at the time of writing it I had been deep in my

memories of that time. I don't usually allow myself to dwell on it often, but

for some reason it came into my head the last 2 days and hasn't been far from my

thoughts.



I have come farther than I ever thought I would, and that is reason enough to

hope that things will get better still in the future. I can never replace my

lost child, but perhaps having another in time will go a long way to fill that

place in my heart.



If anyone wants to talk to  me on here, I am willing to listen. Rant, vent,

rage, cry. We've all done it, and still do sometimes. These days though I tend

to just shed a quiet tear when i'm alone and thinking of her. I haven't spoken

like this to anyone, and it's like yesterday at times.



Anyway, I better go. Don't want to drown you all. :)

Hi, im glad 3 years on you are able to share your journey with us.... Mercy

Grace was born 24/9/07 and passed away in mummies arms 3/11/07. I am struggling

greatly with my loss at this time.. some days finding it hard to breathe. I hope

in time i am able to share more with you and everyone  else. There is much i

have yet to share with you girls... some of this i have only just recently

shared partielly with my husband....



Better be off before the tears flow.. they are never too far away at the moment.



New member... welcome and im sorry yuou need to be here

Pettina



--- In as_ap@..., "r.paparone" <r.paparone@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I just joined today. I joined a similar group about 3 years ago but I never

posted anything on it. I guess I just wasn't ready.

>

> I have shared a very difficult time in my life with you all. For several

reasons. If anyone can understand, it would be others who have gone through such

a terrible thing. I also felt that it would be a kind of catharis for me, and

allow to move forward. And perhaps, someone who is going through this now may

find something in it that helps them move forward.

>

> Although, thinking about what I wrote, it doesn't sound like I have come very

far in such a long time, but at the time of writing it I had been deep in my

memories of that time. I don't usually allow myself to dwell on it often, but

for some reason it came into my head the last 2 days and hasn't been far from my

thoughts.

>

> I have come farther than I ever thought I would, and that is reason enough to

hope that things will get better still in the future. I can never replace my

lost child, but perhaps having another in time will go a long way to fill that

place in my heart.

>

> If anyone wants to talk to  me on here, I am willing to listen. Rant, vent,

rage, cry. We've all done it, and still do sometimes. These days though I tend

to just shed a quiet tear when i'm alone and thinking of her. I haven't spoken

like this to anyone, and it's like yesterday at times.

>

> Anyway, I better go. Don't want to drown you all. :)

>