Hi Everyone,



I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first post.

I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I first

became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part and

decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to look

over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my feelings

at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because

everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.



My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel baby

Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally name him

but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child that). 

I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.  I feel

its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt that there

is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did interrupt

the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot of family

etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant then, but I

gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me.  When ever I

think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state would've been like

had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure if this makes

sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not post on the

wall again.



I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at 36weeks

because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on

wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong

with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in

law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with

the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to

book time off work.



Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.



Justine

Hi Justine,



Your story sounds awfuly similar to mine.  My angel baby Isabell was born on the

6th of December 07 at 20 weeks.  She only just made it to 20 weeks by 45mins

otherwise she would of been considered a miscarriage and not a stillbirth and

would not have had a birth or death certificate.  I also gave birth naturally

after having the pregnancy interrupted.  We were not given the choice to

continue with the pregnancy.  I am sure this happened for a reason and no longer

feel guilty having had the pregancy interrupted.



I am 24 weeks pregnant with my third child, a boy, who seems to be going well as

per all the scans but I don't think I will feel at ease until he is born and I

know he is okay and well.



It's good that you have posted and I think it is such a big step. You may find

that the rest of your family don't talk about your angel baby so as not to cause

you any more grief and it might help to tell them that you do want to include

Matthew as part of the family.  They may not know.



Hope everything goes well with the birth and that you have plenty of help around

once the new baby arrives.  You sound like a very brave woman, as I think all

parents who have lost a child are.



Take Care

Jenny





--- In as_ap@..., "justinegooderham" <justinegooderham@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first

post.  I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I

first became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part

and decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to

look over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my

feelings at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because

everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.

>

> My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel baby

Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally name him

but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child that). 

I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.  I feel

its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt that there

is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did interrupt

the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot of family

etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant then, but I

gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me.  When ever I

think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state would've been like

had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure if this makes

sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not post on the

wall again.

>

> I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at

36weeks because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on

wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong

with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in

law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with

the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to

book time off work.

>

> Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.

>

> Justine

>

Hi Justine.



Im so glad you have decided to post. Jus know that you are not alone in your

emotions.



I will share myself with you later.... i am struggling greatly with missing my

sweet Mercy Grace at the moment and dont feel i am able to share right now.

Just know that i am happy that you have made that first step to post... its a

huge one.



--- In as_ap@..., "Jenny" <jenzi83@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Justine,

>

> Your story sounds awfuly similar to mine.  My angel baby Isabell was born on

the 6th of December 07 at 20 weeks.  She only just made it to 20 weeks by 45mins

otherwise she would of been considered a miscarriage and not a stillbirth and

would not have had a birth or death certificate.  I also gave birth naturally

after having the pregnancy interrupted.  We were not given the choice to

continue with the pregnancy.  I am sure this happened for a reason and no longer

feel guilty having had the pregancy interrupted.

>

> I am 24 weeks pregnant with my third child, a boy, who seems to be going well

as per all the scans but I don't think I will feel at ease until he is born and

I know he is okay and well.

>

> It's good that you have posted and I think it is such a big step. You may find

that the rest of your family don't talk about your angel baby so as not to cause

you any more grief and it might help to tell them that you do want to include

Matthew as part of the family.  They may not know.

>

> Hope everything goes well with the birth and that you have plenty of help

around once the new baby arrives.  You sound like a very brave woman, as I think

all parents who have lost a child are.

>

> Take Care

> Jenny

>

>

> --- In as_ap@..., "justinegooderham" <justinegooderham@> wrote:

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first

post.  I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I

first became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part

and decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to

look over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my

feelings at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because

everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.

> >

> > My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel

baby Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally

name him but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child

that).  I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.

I feel its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt

that there is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did

interrupt the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot

of family etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant

then, but I gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me. 

When ever I think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state

would've been like had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure

if this makes sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not

post on the wall again.

> >

> > I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at

36weeks because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on

wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong

with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in

law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with

the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to

book time off work.

> >

> > Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.

> >

> > Justine

> >

>