Just to let you know I added some photos to my album of our family the day after
Cate was born, and on Matthew's birthday (at his grave) and one of Anabelle and
Cate.
Vanessa
PS - Thanks Pettina, I did get your text on Tuesday and thanks so much for
thinking of us. I will be thinking of you on Thursday too as you remember Mercy.

Vanessa

Sound slike a beautiful day and im glad you got some extended time in hospital.
I hope you got my msg on TUesday. I thought of you all day.
We had the same cakes for Mercy last year and we will again this year.
Cate truly is beautiful

Pettina

--- In as_ap@..., "chrisandvanessamurphy"
<chrisandvanessamurphy@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> Catherine Eva Murphy ("Cate") arrived safely on Friday September 11th,
11.18pm. She was 4.2kg (9 pounds 4 oz), and 52 cm long. I had a spontaneous
labour which started about 24 hours before she was born, and lasted officially
for 5.5 hours. She is adorable- looks just like her big sister Anabelle did when
she was a baby. Anabelle is starting to warm up to her and thinks that "my
little sister Cate likes me a lot!". We've just arrived home from hospital
today.
>
> As you are all aware, it was Matthew's birthday on 15th. I was able to leave
the hospital with Cate and come back, so we all went down to the grave and had a
little "party" for him. Actually, quite a number of friends joined us, so it
wasn't so little after all (I  think there were about 10 adults, 11 kids and 2
babies). We had 12 balloons which the 11 kids plus Cate let go, 12 flowers to
lay on the grave and Chris and Anabelle baked some mini cupcakes (called "angel
baby cakes" on the packet) to share with our friends. My husband prayed and read
a passage from 1 Peter 1: 3-7. We were just given a new "family" bible which is
an NIV version easier to read for kids. This is how it puts part of this
passage: "Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his
great mercy he has given us a new birth and a hope that is alive. It is alive
because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. He has given us new birth so that we
might share in what belongs to him. It is a gift that can never be destroyed. It
can never spoil or even fade away. It is kept in heaven for you".  We reflected
on Matthew's birth here on earth, which was so quickly followed by his new birth
into heaven.  It was just a perfect day. The grave was covered in flowers which
just spoke so much as to the number of people who loved Matthew and remember
him.  Chris came back to the hospital later that night with a cake and a 1st
birthday candle (his idea) and we sang Happy Birthday to Matthew together. It
was just beautiful.
>
> I will try and post some pics of Matthew's party and of our gorgeous little
Cate very soon.
>
> Love Vanessa
>

Hi Everyone,

Catherine Eva Murphy ("Cate") arrived safely on Friday September 11th, 11.18pm.
She was 4.2kg (9 pounds 4 oz), and 52 cm long. I had a spontaneous labour which
started about 24 hours before she was born, and lasted officially for 5.5 hours.
She is adorable- looks just like her big sister Anabelle did when she was a
baby. Anabelle is starting to warm up to her and thinks that "my little sister
Cate likes me a lot!". We've just arrived home from hospital today.

As you are all aware, it was Matthew's birthday on 15th. I was able to leave the
hospital with Cate and come back, so we all went down to the grave and had a
little "party" for him. Actually, quite a number of friends joined us, so it
wasn't so little after all (I  think there were about 10 adults, 11 kids and 2
babies). We had 12 balloons which the 11 kids plus Cate let go, 12 flowers to
lay on the grave and Chris and Anabelle baked some mini cupcakes (called "angel
baby cakes" on the packet) to share with our friends. My husband prayed and read
a passage from 1 Peter 1: 3-7. We were just given a new "family" bible which is
an NIV version easier to read for kids. This is how it puts part of this
passage: "Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his
great mercy he has given us a new birth and a hope that is alive. It is alive
because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. He has given us new birth so that we
might share in what belongs to him. It is a gift that can never be destroyed. It
can never spoil or even fade away. It is kept in heaven for you".  We reflected
on Matthew's birth here on earth, which was so quickly followed by his new birth
into heaven.  It was just a perfect day. The grave was covered in flowers which
just spoke so much as to the number of people who loved Matthew and remember
him.  Chris came back to the hospital later that night with a cake and a 1st
birthday candle (his idea) and we sang Happy Birthday to Matthew together. It
was just beautiful.

I will try and post some pics of Matthew's party and of our gorgeous little Cate
very soon.

Love Vanessa

Vanessa.

Your writings are always soo touching and beautiful. I look forward to meeting
your new sweet girl and will continue to pray for you. Happy 1st Birthday to
Matthew for next Tuesday. You are all in my thoughts.


--- In as_ap@..., "chrisandvanessamurphy"
<chrisandvanessamurphy@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> Next week is Matthew's first birthday. Today I'm due to have another baby. As
the gap between birthdays closes in, I'm conscious that I may be in hospital on
the 15th and unable to post this then. I have spent much of the last month
thinking about Matthew - my pregnancy, his birth and death and have found it
somewhat healing as I approach another birth, but also quite painful. My baby
"shower" for this baby was full of tears (unlike last year's for Matthew which
was such a lovely celebration). Life is just not the same on the other side of
losing a precious baby. On Monday we went to the grave as we often do on Monday,
feeling a bit like it was the last "Matthew Monday" (since next Tuesday we'll go
to remember his anniversary). As we drove up, we realised that another baby had
been buried next to him and we were in shock. We knew of course that one day
this would happen, but never expected it to be within the first year (the graves
on the other side are 4-5 years older). We sat for ages and cried for Ruby
Grace's family, not knowing the circumstances, but feeling their pain. We cried
over losing our little patch of grass that we used to sit on next to Matthew. My
husband came home and had a "big cry" which he hasn't done in ages. It is a time
filled with such mixed emotions.
>
> Well, here are my "anniversary thoughts" on Matthew. Not very substantial but
just what has come to mind these last few weeks. I have a bag of Matthew
memories to take to hospital with me and some plans for the day - we'll just
have to wait and see if this baby wants to share her brother's birthday...
>
> Vanessa
>
> On 15th September, we celebrate our son's birthday and remember his death.
Although his time with us was so brief, Matthew has marked our lives forever.
When we think of what could have been - a toddler learning to walk and talk,
playing with trucks and trains - and then of what this last year has been, we
realise what a dramatic turn our family's life has taken. We have continued on
despite the sadness and grief. We have learned to love one another deeply and
unconditionally. We have learnt how to love Matthew more, even in his absence.
We have learnt how and where to find hope even when life seems hopeless. We have
learnt that love never dies.  We have learnt to be thankful for the abundant
blessing of our children's lives, no matter how long or short. We've learnt that
life sometimes takes you in directions that you don't expect, you can't predict
or control and you often don't want, yet these experiences are what give our own
brief lives meaning, purpose and growth.
>
> A year ago we watched as our son "passed through" on his way to heaven.
Matthew did this quickly in one short hour, right before our eyes, reminding us
of our own journey to heaven and the inheritance which is waiting for us, one
that will never perish, spoil or fade (1 Peter 1:4).
>
> One year on, it is hard to believe that we have now lived without Matthew
longer than the 9 months or so we had with him. We miss having all our children
here with us at once, something we will never get to experience here on earth
but pray for in heaven. Bringing new life into the world in the midst of the
continued ache of letting another one go is painfully juxtaposed for us right
now. Our memories of the 15th September 2008 may start to fade, but they will
never completely disappear as the years stretch on.
>
> I guess that in heaven nobody counts birthdays, but Happy Birthday to you, our
boy Matthew. We thank God for your time with us, we love you, we miss you and we
look forward to joining you in the everlasting party in heaven one day.
>

Hi Everyone,

Next week is Matthew's first birthday. Today I'm due to have another baby. As
the gap between birthdays closes in, I'm conscious that I may be in hospital on
the 15th and unable to post this then. I have spent much of the last month
thinking about Matthew - my pregnancy, his birth and death and have found it
somewhat healing as I approach another birth, but also quite painful. My baby
"shower" for this baby was full of tears (unlike last year's for Matthew which
was such a lovely celebration). Life is just not the same on the other side of
losing a precious baby. On Monday we went to the grave as we often do on Monday,
feeling a bit like it was the last "Matthew Monday" (since next Tuesday we'll go
to remember his anniversary). As we drove up, we realised that another baby had
been buried next to him and we were in shock. We knew of course that one day
this would happen, but never expected it to be within the first year (the graves
on the other side are 4-5 years older). We sat for ages and cried for Ruby
Grace's family, not knowing the circumstances, but feeling their pain. We cried
over losing our little patch of grass that we used to sit on next to Matthew. My
husband came home and had a "big cry" which he hasn't done in ages. It is a time
filled with such mixed emotions.

Well, here are my "anniversary thoughts" on Matthew. Not very substantial but
just what has come to mind these last few weeks. I have a bag of Matthew
memories to take to hospital with me and some plans for the day - we'll just
have to wait and see if this baby wants to share her brother's birthday...

Vanessa

On 15th September, we celebrate our son's birthday and remember his death.
Although his time with us was so brief, Matthew has marked our lives forever.
When we think of what could have been - a toddler learning to walk and talk,
playing with trucks and trains - and then of what this last year has been, we
realise what a dramatic turn our family's life has taken. We have continued on
despite the sadness and grief. We have learned to love one another deeply and
unconditionally. We have learnt how to love Matthew more, even in his absence.
We have learnt how and where to find hope even when life seems hopeless. We have
learnt that love never dies.  We have learnt to be thankful for the abundant
blessing of our children's lives, no matter how long or short. We've learnt that
life sometimes takes you in directions that you don't expect, you can't predict
or control and you often don't want, yet these experiences are what give our own
brief lives meaning, purpose and growth.

A year ago we watched as our son "passed through" on his way to heaven. Matthew
did this quickly in one short hour, right before our eyes, reminding us of our
own journey to heaven and the inheritance which is waiting for us, one that will
never perish, spoil or fade (1 Peter 1:4).

One year on, it is hard to believe that we have now lived without Matthew longer
than the 9 months or so we had with him. We miss having all our children here
with us at once, something we will never get to experience here on earth but
pray for in heaven. Bringing new life into the world in the midst of the
continued ache of letting another one go is painfully juxtaposed for us right
now. Our memories of the 15th September 2008 may start to fade, but they will
never completely disappear as the years stretch on.

I guess that in heaven nobody counts birthdays, but Happy Birthday to you, our
boy Matthew. We thank God for your time with us, we love you, we miss you and we
look forward to joining you in the everlasting party in heaven one day.

Vanessa
What a difficult week. I hope Chris is doing better now. Youre words are soo
true and hard to read..... you say all the things i have wished for such a long
time i would be able to write.... for the first time since Mercy passed and i
wrote words for her funeral i was able to write this week.

I treasure the time we spend together soo much.....Though it can be draining i
never want it to end, Having someone else to share my babies life with over and
over again...I hold you near and dear to my heart.

you are not alone as i expressed the other week... I too felt such sadness
whilst carrying Nathaniel and seem to experience an even deeper grief now that i
watch him grow without one of hus bog sisters to encourage him along.

There are many a ay oi wish you were closer just so i could give you a hug
without any words spoken.

Im posting photos on facebook today of Mercy that i have never posted before.

This is what i wrote this week:

I hold you in my arms today
Finally you are here
I held you in my heart today
I knew for only a little while you would be near

Its been such a long journey
just to hold you today
But i treasure every moment
And pray for a little longer you'll stay

I wait upon your every breath
With hope and love and fear
You are my angel baby
For you i'll shed many a tear

To God you'll go and soon
And i'll remember while you there,
One day soon ill see you again
But you were always Gods to share.

Pettina xoxo


--- In as_ap@..., "Vanessa Murphy" <chrisandvanessamurphy@...>
wrote:
>
> It's been  a crazy week. Chris ended up in hospital for half of it, and had
surgery, all unplanned. He had his appendix out, which doesn't sound terrible,
but spending 8 hours in the emergency department watching your husband in
extreme pain, then going back and forth to the hospital over the next 2 days to
be of support really took it out of me. On Wednesday he was discharged. It was
the 15th of July, 10 months since our son Matthew died in that same hospital. I
could see Matthew's room every time I walked down the hallway to Chris' surgical
ward. And every time I stopped and looked down at it and remembered our days
there. So on Wednesday I walked into the hospital where my son died, to pick up
my husband after his surgery.
>
> I feel drained. Yesterday I went to Matthew's grave, as I had been wanting to
all week, and had a big cry. I could see all the people there by the hole in the
ground, just as things had been on his burial day. I could see Shane with his
arm around a very pregnant Helen, I could see Ruth and Bonnie standing next to
Bonnie's son's grave. I could see various relatives of ours crying on and off
and wondered why was I not crying that day. I want to go back there and cry, and
cry out "don't take my boy away, don't put him in the ground, NO!" But I can't
go back, and even if I could it wouldn't change anything. I must have been in a
lot of shock back then, because it's only now that I feel the full force of my
grief. Why didn't I feel it then when it was all happening to me? I went back
later in the afternoon with the 10 flowers I wanted to put there on Wednesday.
10 flowers for 10 months without Matthew.
>
> My Mum told me yesterday that she thinks I've had enough babies. I'm sure that
comments like that are only meant to be helpful, but they don't seem that way to
me at the time. Does she not realise that not having more babies, while it may
save me from some of the physical hurts of pregnancy which I am now
experiencing, will not save me from the lifetime of hurt I will feel over losing
Matthew?  What is she trying to save me from by saying that? She can't save me
from the sadness I feel for Matthew. I don't think she's even registered that
the hard part about this pregnancy is not related to how many babies I've had,
but how close together these last 2 have been. That contributes to the physical
difficulties anyway. I don't think she's registered that the last 3-4 months
have been the hardest months of my life emotionally. She doesn't ask me about
those things, doesn't try to understand. No-one else speaks of it either. I got
through the first few weeks so well, why would things be bad now? Because it's
only now that I fully feel what happened, that I can cry and cry and cry over
the baby I never brought home.
>
> I don't know how I'm going to hold my new baby girl, D3. I can't picture being
able to do it without tears flowing and my whole body shaking with the
surreal-ness of it all. It makes me think of the last time I held Matthew, and
how little I held him after his birth. I'm facing meeting two new baby boys this
week and wondering how I could hold them either, but desperately wanting to all
the same. In some ways I want to be confronted with a baby boy who is the same
size my Matthew was. I want to remember what it was like to hold a new baby his
size. Cathy's baby Calvin was born yesterday afternoon. I shed tears of joy for
Cathy, that her very long pregnancy was over and ended well, and tears of
sadness that my Matthew is not here to be a friend to Calvin. Tomorrow baby
Nicole will be here, now 10 months old as Matthew would have been. I haven't
seen her for over 2 months, so she will have jumped ahead in her development
again in that time.  And the day after that, our new nephew will be born in
Wollongong. A new grandson for my mother in law, whose last grandson died only
10 months ago. How different this visit to our nephew will be from Teresa's
visit to her nephew 10 months ago. It seems really tragic and wrong that I could
participate in the celebration of these little lives, when I asked these same
friends to visit my dead baby so recently. That day must have been more weird
for them than us, I'm sure. So much so, that one aunty didn't even come to meet
her dead nephew. I find that very difficult to get over, that for whatever
reasons I obviously don't understand, she didn't take a once in a lifetime
opportunity to meet a new member of her family.
>
> I miss Matthew so much. I miss his ferocious kicks inside me, his one hour of
life that went so quickly, the little noises he made during that time, the way
he seemed to touch other people's lives, the times we had as a family of 4 with
him. I feel overwhelmed with the grief, overwhelmed with life, and overwhelmed
at the future. I've been listening to Casting Crowns a lot again lately: "The
God of all creation holds our lives in His hands, He cares for them just as He
cares for you...Just love them like Jesus". Praise God that He does hold our
lives in his hands, that he holds our tears, our hurts, and our worries too. It
doesn't lift me out of my sadness to know this, but it gives me a glimmer of
hope that I will lift out of sadness again one day, that ultimately the sadness
will be taken away, even if I have to wait a lifetime for that day.
>

It's been  a crazy week. Chris ended up in hospital for half of it, and had
surgery, all unplanned. He had his appendix out, which doesn't sound terrible,
but spending 8 hours in the emergency department watching your husband in
extreme pain, then going back and forth to the hospital over the next 2 days to
be of support really took it out of me. On Wednesday he was discharged. It was
the 15th of July, 10 months since our son Matthew died in that same hospital. I
could see Matthew's room every time I walked down the hallway to Chris' surgical
ward. And every time I stopped and looked down at it and remembered our days
there. So on Wednesday I walked into the hospital where my son died, to pick up
my husband after his surgery.

I feel drained. Yesterday I went to Matthew's grave, as I had been wanting to
all week, and had a big cry. I could see all the people there by the hole in the
ground, just as things had been on his burial day. I could see Shane with his
arm around a very pregnant Helen, I could see Ruth and Bonnie standing next to
Bonnie's son's grave. I could see various relatives of ours crying on and off
and wondered why was I not crying that day. I want to go back there and cry, and
cry out "don't take my boy away, don't put him in the ground, NO!" But I can't
go back, and even if I could it wouldn't change anything. I must have been in a
lot of shock back then, because it's only now that I feel the full force of my
grief. Why didn't I feel it then when it was all happening to me? I went back
later in the afternoon with the 10 flowers I wanted to put there on Wednesday.
10 flowers for 10 months without Matthew.

My Mum told me yesterday that she thinks I've had enough babies. I'm sure that
comments like that are only meant to be helpful, but they don't seem that way to
me at the time. Does she not realise that not having more babies, while it may
save me from some of the physical hurts of pregnancy which I am now
experiencing, will not save me from the lifetime of hurt I will feel over losing
Matthew?  What is she trying to save me from by saying that? She can't save me
from the sadness I feel for Matthew. I don't think she's even registered that
the hard part about this pregnancy is not related to how many babies I've had,
but how close together these last 2 have been. That contributes to the physical
difficulties anyway. I don't think she's registered that the last 3-4 months
have been the hardest months of my life emotionally. She doesn't ask me about
those things, doesn't try to understand. No-one else speaks of it either. I got
through the first few weeks so well, why would things be bad now? Because it's
only now that I fully feel what happened, that I can cry and cry and cry over
the baby I never brought home.

I don't know how I'm going to hold my new baby girl, D3. I can't picture being
able to do it without tears flowing and my whole body shaking with the
surreal-ness of it all. It makes me think of the last time I held Matthew, and
how little I held him after his birth. I'm facing meeting two new baby boys this
week and wondering how I could hold them either, but desperately wanting to all
the same. In some ways I want to be confronted with a baby boy who is the same
size my Matthew was. I want to remember what it was like to hold a new baby his
size. Cathy's baby Calvin was born yesterday afternoon. I shed tears of joy for
Cathy, that her very long pregnancy was over and ended well, and tears of
sadness that my Matthew is not here to be a friend to Calvin. Tomorrow baby
Nicole will be here, now 10 months old as Matthew would have been. I haven't
seen her for over 2 months, so she will have jumped ahead in her development
again in that time.  And the day after that, our new nephew will be born in
Wollongong. A new grandson for my mother in law, whose last grandson died only
10 months ago. How different this visit to our nephew will be from Teresa's
visit to her nephew 10 months ago. It seems really tragic and wrong that I could
participate in the celebration of these little lives, when I asked these same
friends to visit my dead baby so recently. That day must have been more weird
for them than us, I'm sure. So much so, that one aunty didn't even come to meet
her dead nephew. I find that very difficult to get over, that for whatever
reasons I obviously don't understand, she didn't take a once in a lifetime
opportunity to meet a new member of her family.

I miss Matthew so much. I miss his ferocious kicks inside me, his one hour of
life that went so quickly, the little noises he made during that time, the way
he seemed to touch other people's lives, the times we had as a family of 4 with
him. I feel overwhelmed with the grief, overwhelmed with life, and overwhelmed
at the future. I've been listening to Casting Crowns a lot again lately: "The
God of all creation holds our lives in His hands, He cares for them just as He
cares for you...Just love them like Jesus". Praise God that He does hold our
lives in his hands, that he holds our tears, our hurts, and our worries too. It
doesn't lift me out of my sadness to know this, but it gives me a glimmer of
hope that I will lift out of sadness again one day, that ultimately the sadness
will be taken away, even if I have to wait a lifetime for that day.

i just read the files that have been posted

Liz... tyhat poem is beautiful. well written.. Normally i process emotuon so
well by writing but with Mercy i have never managed to do it.

r.raparone... Thats an amazing story.. I wrote 3 years on.. going off your wall
post but realise it is much more than that.. Im glad that you have come to a
placer to be able to share.... will be praying for you as you walk this next
path of your  life

Hi, im glad 3 years on you are able to share your journey with us.... Mercy
Grace was born 24/9/07 and passed away in mummies arms 3/11/07. I am struggling
greatly with my loss at this time.. some days finding it hard to breathe. I hope
in time i am able to share more with you and everyone  else. There is much i
have yet to share with you girls... some of this i have only just recently
shared partielly with my husband....

Better be off before the tears flow.. they are never too far away at the moment.

New member... welcome and im sorry yuou need to be here
Pettina

--- In as_ap@..., "r.paparone" <r.paparone@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Everyone,
> I just joined today. I joined a similar group about 3 years ago but I never
posted anything on it. I guess I just wasn't ready.
>
> I have shared a very difficult time in my life with you all. For several
reasons. If anyone can understand, it would be others who have gone through such
a terrible thing. I also felt that it would be a kind of catharis for me, and
allow to move forward. And perhaps, someone who is going through this now may
find something in it that helps them move forward.
>
> Although, thinking about what I wrote, it doesn't sound like I have come very
far in such a long time, but at the time of writing it I had been deep in my
memories of that time. I don't usually allow myself to dwell on it often, but
for some reason it came into my head the last 2 days and hasn't been far from my
thoughts.
>
> I have come farther than I ever thought I would, and that is reason enough to
hope that things will get better still in the future. I can never replace my
lost child, but perhaps having another in time will go a long way to fill that
place in my heart.
>
> If anyone wants to talk to  me on here, I am willing to listen. Rant, vent,
rage, cry. We've all done it, and still do sometimes. These days though I tend
to just shed a quiet tear when i'm alone and thinking of her. I haven't spoken
like this to anyone, and it's like yesterday at times.
>
> Anyway, I better go. Don't want to drown you all. :)
>

Hi Everyone,
I just joined today. I joined a similar group about 3 years ago but I never
posted anything on it. I guess I just wasn't ready.

I have shared a very difficult time in my life with you all. For several
reasons. If anyone can understand, it would be others who have gone through such
a terrible thing. I also felt that it would be a kind of catharis for me, and
allow to move forward. And perhaps, someone who is going through this now may
find something in it that helps them move forward.

Although, thinking about what I wrote, it doesn't sound like I have come very
far in such a long time, but at the time of writing it I had been deep in my
memories of that time. I don't usually allow myself to dwell on it often, but
for some reason it came into my head the last 2 days and hasn't been far from my
thoughts.

I have come farther than I ever thought I would, and that is reason enough to
hope that things will get better still in the future. I can never replace my
lost child, but perhaps having another in time will go a long way to fill that
place in my heart.

If anyone wants to talk to  me on here, I am willing to listen. Rant, vent,
rage, cry. We've all done it, and still do sometimes. These days though I tend
to just shed a quiet tear when i'm alone and thinking of her. I haven't spoken
like this to anyone, and it's like yesterday at times.

Anyway, I better go. Don't want to drown you all. :)

Hi everyone

We've had some new members join us in the past few weeks and I haven't had a
chance to welcome them.

If you are a new member and feel comfortable posting your story on the boards or
in our files, we'd love to get to know you.

Perhaps you've been a member for a while and haven't shared your story with us,
or have an update to let us know how you're travelling, that'd be great too.

I've been a bit of a busy bugger lately and have neglected you all, for which I
am terribly sorry.  I had to get through May/June (my hard months) in one piece
and that meant going quiet, we all do whatever it takes.  This year was easier
for me, 3 years on and I'm doing pretty darned ok, I dearly hope that can give
those of you who are still in your early days some ray of light that it'll be ok
for you too.  As we all know it takes however long it takes.

Love to you all, please, pop up and say hi.

Lea :-)

Hi Justine.

Im so glad you have decided to post. Jus know that you are not alone in your
emotions.

I will share myself with you later.... i am struggling greatly with missing my
sweet Mercy Grace at the moment and dont feel i am able to share right now.
Just know that i am happy that you have made that first step to post... its a
huge one.

--- In as_ap@..., "Jenny" <jenzi83@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Justine,
>
> Your story sounds awfuly similar to mine.  My angel baby Isabell was born on
the 6th of December 07 at 20 weeks.  She only just made it to 20 weeks by 45mins
otherwise she would of been considered a miscarriage and not a stillbirth and
would not have had a birth or death certificate.  I also gave birth naturally
after having the pregnancy interrupted.  We were not given the choice to
continue with the pregnancy.  I am sure this happened for a reason and no longer
feel guilty having had the pregancy interrupted.
>
> I am 24 weeks pregnant with my third child, a boy, who seems to be going well
as per all the scans but I don't think I will feel at ease until he is born and
I know he is okay and well.
>
> It's good that you have posted and I think it is such a big step. You may find
that the rest of your family don't talk about your angel baby so as not to cause
you any more grief and it might help to tell them that you do want to include
Matthew as part of the family.  They may not know.
>
> Hope everything goes well with the birth and that you have plenty of help
around once the new baby arrives.  You sound like a very brave woman, as I think
all parents who have lost a child are.
>
> Take Care
> Jenny
>
>
> --- In as_ap@..., "justinegooderham" <justinegooderham@> wrote:
> >
> > Hi Everyone,
> >
> > I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first
post.  I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I
first became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part
and decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to
look over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my
feelings at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because
everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.
> >
> > My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel
baby Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally
name him but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child
that).  I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.
I feel its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt
that there is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did
interrupt the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot
of family etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant
then, but I gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me. 
When ever I think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state
would've been like had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure
if this makes sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not
post on the wall again.
> >
> > I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at
36weeks because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on
wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong
with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in
law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with
the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to
book time off work.
> >
> > Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.
> >
> > Justine
> >
>

Hi Justine,

Your story sounds awfuly similar to mine.  My angel baby Isabell was born on the
6th of December 07 at 20 weeks.  She only just made it to 20 weeks by 45mins
otherwise she would of been considered a miscarriage and not a stillbirth and
would not have had a birth or death certificate.  I also gave birth naturally
after having the pregnancy interrupted.  We were not given the choice to
continue with the pregnancy.  I am sure this happened for a reason and no longer
feel guilty having had the pregancy interrupted.

I am 24 weeks pregnant with my third child, a boy, who seems to be going well as
per all the scans but I don't think I will feel at ease until he is born and I
know he is okay and well.

It's good that you have posted and I think it is such a big step. You may find
that the rest of your family don't talk about your angel baby so as not to cause
you any more grief and it might help to tell them that you do want to include
Matthew as part of the family.  They may not know.

Hope everything goes well with the birth and that you have plenty of help around
once the new baby arrives.  You sound like a very brave woman, as I think all
parents who have lost a child are.

Take Care
Jenny


--- In as_ap@..., "justinegooderham" <justinegooderham@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first
post.  I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I
first became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part
and decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to
look over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my
feelings at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because
everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.
>
> My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel baby
Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally name him
but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child that). 
I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.  I feel
its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt that there
is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did interrupt
the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot of family
etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant then, but I
gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me.  When ever I
think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state would've been like
had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure if this makes
sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not post on the
wall again.
>
> I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at
36weeks because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on
wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong
with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in
law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with
the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to
book time off work.
>
> Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.
>
> Justine
>

Hi Everyone,

I have been part of this group for about 12months now and this is my first post.
I do not know alot of your stories and I'm very sorry about that. When I first
became part of this group I read some of your stories in the files part and
decided to write my own, after sending it onto a family member for them to look
over it for me she informed me I hadn't gone into enough detail of my feelings
at the time of having my little man.  So there the story stayed because
everytime I tried to look into that day and my feelings my heart broke again.

My short story is that I'm am a mother to a 4yr old boy Joseph and angel baby
Matthew (01.12.07) (as he was born at 18weeks we didn't have to legally name him
but we already had the name picked and I could never name another child that). 
I am now 31weeks with boy number 3, it took me a long time to try again.  I feel
its taken me so long to post in this group because I have always felt that there
is alot of people who have had a harder time of it than me.  We did interrupt
the pregnancy and I feel sometimes that was the wrong decision as alot of family
etc have forgotten about my little man its like I was never pregnant then, but I
gave natural birth to my boy and that I suppose has also helped me.  When ever I
think we made the wrong decision I try to think what my state would've been like
had I have continued with the pregnancy.  I'm not really sure if this makes
sense but I know if I go back through it I will delete it and not post on the
wall again.

I don't have many birth fears Joseph was born by emergency C section at 36weeks
because he could get passed my pelvis.  So at my doctors appointment on
wednesday I will be getting my booking date, so hopefully not much can go wrong
with the birth.  We live 600km from both our families so my mother and mother in
law are coming to visit for a few days each after the birth to help me ut with
the washing etc that I can't do.  Hopefully I don't go early bacuse they have to
book time off work.

Again I'm not sure if it makes sense but I'm going to post it anyway.

Justine

Hi every one,
How are you all going? Sorry its been ages since i've been on. Every things been
crazy here lately and i hardly get any time to myself. Not alot has been
happening my end. Riley is going really well. He is 4.5mths now and is almost
rolling over. When he's on his belly he pushes right up and looks like he's
gonna take off crawling, it sucks how fast they grow up.

My mothers day was ok i guess. Yesterday would have been Angela's 1st birthday
if we had of continued on with the pregnancy (and if she had come on time). I
felt fine yesterday but today it seems to have gotten the better of me and i've
had a few little cries. Don't get me wrong, i wouldn't trade Riley for the world
but i can't help but wonder what life would be like if she was here. Riley is
the one that keeps me going. It only takes the smallest smile and he makes me
feel so much better, he is my angel in disguise.

Other than that there really isn't any thing going on. Its Matthews 4th birthday
tomorrow, I can hardly believe that this time 4 years ago i was in hospital and
they had just broken my waters to induce labour. In another half hr i would have
had my 1st contraction and in another 6.5hrs time Matthew was born. Where on
earth has the time gone????

I'm in the process of begging Neil for a 4th baby, obviously not just yet but in
a couple of years time i think it would be nice, he's not so keen so i will have
to keep working on him or find a sperm donor *joke* lol.

Well i had best be off before i bore you all to much. Talk to you soon. I'll try
to get on abit more often. Take care every one.

love liz oxoxoxox

Mum to angel baby ***Angela***




--- In as_ap@..., "Lea" <leannec72@...> wrote:
>
> Wishing you all a gentle Mother's Day.  I know (of course) how many
conflicting emotions can hit us on days like today, and pray that you all find
some quiet time to remember your precious babies who are no longer in your arms,
but forever in your hearts.
>
> I will make some time this week to sit and read through your messages and
catch up on what's happening, I'm sorry I've been so absent and it's not a
reflection at all on how much I care for each and every one of you very special
people.
>
> I'm just heading out to see ~Ben~ at the cemetary with my hubby and kids, it's
a magically warm sunny day here so it's a lovely day for a visit with my little
angel.
>
> Big hugs for you all today and always
>
> Lea xxxxxx
>

Wishing you all a gentle Mother's Day.  I know (of course) how many conflicting
emotions can hit us on days like today, and pray that you all find some quiet
time to remember your precious babies who are no longer in your arms, but
forever in your hearts.

I will make some time this week to sit and read through your messages and catch
up on what's happening, I'm sorry I've been so absent and it's not a reflection
at all on how much I care for each and every one of you very special people.

I'm just heading out to see ~Ben~ at the cemetary with my hubby and kids, it's a
magically warm sunny day here so it's a lovely day for a visit with my little
angel.

Big hugs for you all today and always

Lea xxxxxx

Hi Everyone,
It's been a while since I posted, so just wanted to drop in and let you know I'm
thinking of you all.
Also, I had my 20 week scan last week for baby "D3" (in case I haven't explained
before, D stands for "Dubbie" which was my daughter's knickname in utero and
still is, D2 was Matthew, and so this baby is D3, Dubbie number 3).
D3 is a girl - unnamed as yet! It's more difficult than I imagined. I think
we'll probably think over names and choose something when she's born.
D3 is healthy which is great. Praise God!
I've had bad asthma this week which has me worried about myself and D3, but
there's nothing I can do but take the medication and try and rest and get
better.
Next weekend I'm speaking at a Christian conference for women in Newcastle
(called Women of Truth) about my experience of Matthew's life and death and how
my faith in God helped me through this time. I'm leading the seminar with my
pastor's wife, and we've titled it "God's purposes in suffering: coping with the
death of a baby this side of heaven". It's been a lot of work, but a really good
process for me to get my thoughts, feelings and Matthew's story expressed in
words. I've also put together a visual presentation of Matthew's life/story to
music, which I really "enjoyed" doing. I still cry every time I watch it.
I have a very busy month in May, and this seminar is just the start of things,
so I'm hoping that having that done will at least lift a bit of a weight off my
shoulders. I have no idea how I'll be feeling emotionally next Sunday....drained
I imagine and I may crash after this point!
Hope everyone is OK.
Love Vanessa

Dear Kelly and Natalie,

I am so sorry for for both of your losses.  I know that nothing I will say will
make either of you feel better.  As most people say it gets better with time but
the memory is there all the time.  I hope both of you can pull yourselves
through this hard time and that you have plenty of loving family and friends
that can help.

Take care
Jenny

--- In as_ap@..., Kelly Daquanna <kellydaq44@...> wrote:
>
> Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. I really do stand beside you
with the hurt you are goin through at this time. People say they are sorry, they
know how you feel, blah blah blah but nothing can replace that pain we will feel
forever. I just lost my baby at 4 1/2mths on April 3rd and it's still been the
hardest thing for me to have to deal with. It was my first daughter which I
wanted so BAD and the chances of "anacephaly" is 1 out of 1000 so I still don't
understand why I had to be the 1 of the 1000 person to have it happen too.
Believe me when I tell you that GOD has something in store for the people like
us who seem to suffer when the ones that don't deserve it.....get it
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: nmurdoch2009 <clanmurdoch@...>
> To: as_ap@...
> Sent: Wednesday, April 8, 2009 11:37:18 PM
> Subject: [as_ap] Alex James Murdoch - Born 2nd April 2009 @ 3.12pm
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> Our little boy Alex James Murdoch was born via c-section on Thursday 2nd April
2009 at 3.12pm, he become an angel at 3.27pm, we had him with us for 15 precious
minutes.
>
> Alex weight 880grams, (1lb,15oz)
> Length 35cms, (nearly 14 inches)
> Alex was 30.1 weeks when he was born.
>
> In such hard times I can see how God was working everything together.
> I had gotten to the point that carrying him was affecting my health,
> due to the "poly". But I couldn't say myself it was time to have our
> little man. I had to and was holding out until the doctor said it's time. My
doctor and midwife were both away on holidays. Our midwife had told us if Alex
was going to be born that she whould would come in, as she wasn't going away
anywhere. The replacement doctor we had was fantastic, he has the best bedside
manner, just what was needed in our situation. I had asked previously about my
mother coming in to the theatre but was told this wasn't possible. The best we
could hope for was Mum coming into the recovery room. I just wanted my mum to
hold Alex while he was alive, and I guess I didn't think he would make it to the
recover room. (which he didn't). I was due to go to Theatre
> at 3.30pm, but they came for me at 2.15pm, lots of things happened
> last minute. Mum was allowed to come into the Theatre with me and
> my husband Stephen. Someone from the hospital video taped for us in Theatre,
which normally no video cameras are allowed in the Theatre.
> So Stephen, Mum and myself all got to hold Alex while he was alive.
> We have some great pictures of Alex and Alex with our family.
> I haven't seen the video footage yet. Plus my sister and family had a
> holiday booked, so I thought that they wouldn't be around when Alex
> was born but it worked out that they flew out the night of the funeral.
> The other amazing thing was most of my family didn't want to see Alex
> and that hurt me, but the way things happened on the day,
> both my sisters saw him and it mean the world to me. The paedetrician we had
was also fantastic he saw us a couple of days after Alex was
> born and said that Alex had a severe case of anen. And even if I had
> of been physically able to continue carrying him, (as we were hoping
> to get to 36 weeks, then have the c-section)it may not have given us
> any more time with our little boy. This made me feel a bit better
> knowing that a few more weeks in our case my have not made a difference. As I
had felt guilty about not being able to continue carrrying him any longer.
>
> We kept Alex with us in our room for two days, it was so heart renching
letting them (funeral people) come and take away Alex.
> I learnt crying after having a c-section isn't a good idea, it hurts
> beyond words.
>
> We had his funeral on Monday 6th April at 10.30am, I was discharged from the
hospital that morning and went straight to the funeral service. It was a lovely
service everything that we had hoped for,
> I'm so glad that we arranged it in advance as the morning after Alex was born
I couldn't even fill in the hospital meal menu form and all I had to do was tick
boxes. There is no way that we could have given justice to arrange a funeral
service. We had a public funeral and it was great so many people came to
remember Alex. Somehow (with God's help) Stephen and I each read a poem at the
funeral service.
>
> Today it's a week since our little boy was born, I know life is
> supposed to go on but it's soo hard.
> I'm just trying to taking a day at a time, the tears just keep
> flowing, it feels so empty without him, life isn't supposted to
> be like this, but on the other side I know that God has been with
> us and I can see that as everything worked out so well.
> (in the circumstances)
>
> Sorry it's such a long novel to read, but I really wanted to share it
> all with you.
>
> Thanks for reading.
>
> Natalie
> Mummy to ^Alex^ 2nd April 2009
> Mummy to Matthew age 3, Bethany age 2
>

Tammie.
Im sorry things have been tough for you of late. It seems like the hard times
are going around

Vanessa. will try to get to Pm you later this week as i would love to catch up..
Love to you and the family

--- In as_ap@..., "Tammie" <abbey_april@...> wrote:
>
> Hey there, long time no speak to you all. I have been very busy with work and
also unwell.  This week is very hard again it seems like my pain for April is
getting worse. But it will get better soon I hope.  I hope you all enjoyed your
easter just gone. Well I hope to talk soon to you all.  Take Care and my prayers
are with you all
>

Hey there, long time no speak to you all. I have been very busy with work and
also unwell.  This week is very hard again it seems like my pain for April is
getting worse. But it will get better soon I hope.  I hope you all enjoyed your
easter just gone. Well I hope to talk soon to you all.  Take Care and my prayers
are with you all

Thanks for sharing natalie. im glad you were able to hold your baby in your arms
before he went to heaven and were also able to keep him with you for a few days.

I pray gods peace for you in this time.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us


Kelly... I am soo sorry for your loss. At times it feels like it will never
end... and at other times the pain is just like the dull ache of a migraine
retreating. I know this... my baby will always be my baby and nothing can change
that.

Pettina...xoxox

--- In as_ap@..., Kelly Daquanna <kellydaq44@...> wrote:
>
> Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. I really do stand beside you
with the hurt you are goin through at this time. People say they are sorry, they
know how you feel, blah blah blah but nothing can replace that pain we will feel
forever. I just lost my baby at 4 1/2mths on April 3rd and it's still been the
hardest thing for me to have to deal with. It was my first daughter which I
wanted so BAD and the chances of "anacephaly" is 1 out of 1000 so I still don't
understand why I had to be the 1 of the 1000 person to have it happen too.
Believe me when I tell you that GOD has something in store for the people like
us who seem to suffer when the ones that don't deserve it.....get it
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: nmurdoch2009 <clanmurdoch@...>
> To: as_ap@...
> Sent: Wednesday, April 8, 2009 11:37:18 PM
> Subject: [as_ap] Alex James Murdoch - Born 2nd April 2009 @ 3.12pm
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> Our little boy Alex James Murdoch was born via c-section on Thursday 2nd April
2009 at 3.12pm, he become an angel at 3.27pm, we had him with us for 15 precious
minutes.
>
> Alex weight 880grams, (1lb,15oz)
> Length 35cms, (nearly 14 inches)
> Alex was 30.1 weeks when he was born.
>
> In such hard times I can see how God was working everything together.
> I had gotten to the point that carrying him was affecting my health,
> due to the "poly". But I couldn't say myself it was time to have our
> little man. I had to and was holding out until the doctor said it's time. My
doctor and midwife were both away on holidays. Our midwife had told us if Alex
was going to be born that she whould would come in, as she wasn't going away
anywhere. The replacement doctor we had was fantastic, he has the best bedside
manner, just what was needed in our situation. I had asked previously about my
mother coming in to the theatre but was told this wasn't possible. The best we
could hope for was Mum coming into the recovery room. I just wanted my mum to
hold Alex while he was alive, and I guess I didn't think he would make it to the
recover room. (which he didn't). I was due to go to Theatre
> at 3.30pm, but they came for me at 2.15pm, lots of things happened
> last minute. Mum was allowed to come into the Theatre with me and
> my husband Stephen. Someone from the hospital video taped for us in Theatre,
which normally no video cameras are allowed in the Theatre.
> So Stephen, Mum and myself all got to hold Alex while he was alive.
> We have some great pictures of Alex and Alex with our family.
> I haven't seen the video footage yet. Plus my sister and family had a
> holiday booked, so I thought that they wouldn't be around when Alex
> was born but it worked out that they flew out the night of the funeral.
> The other amazing thing was most of my family didn't want to see Alex
> and that hurt me, but the way things happened on the day,
> both my sisters saw him and it mean the world to me. The paedetrician we had
was also fantastic he saw us a couple of days after Alex was
> born and said that Alex had a severe case of anen. And even if I had
> of been physically able to continue carrying him, (as we were hoping
> to get to 36 weeks, then have the c-section)it may not have given us
> any more time with our little boy. This made me feel a bit better
> knowing that a few more weeks in our case my have not made a difference. As I
had felt guilty about not being able to continue carrrying him any longer.
>
> We kept Alex with us in our room for two days, it was so heart renching
letting them (funeral people) come and take away Alex.
> I learnt crying after having a c-section isn't a good idea, it hurts
> beyond words.
>
> We had his funeral on Monday 6th April at 10.30am, I was discharged from the
hospital that morning and went straight to the funeral service. It was a lovely
service everything that we had hoped for,
> I'm so glad that we arranged it in advance as the morning after Alex was born
I couldn't even fill in the hospital meal menu form and all I had to do was tick
boxes. There is no way that we could have given justice to arrange a funeral
service. We had a public funeral and it was great so many people came to
remember Alex. Somehow (with God's help) Stephen and I each read a poem at the
funeral service.
>
> Today it's a week since our little boy was born, I know life is
> supposed to go on but it's soo hard.
> I'm just trying to taking a day at a time, the tears just keep
> flowing, it feels so empty without him, life isn't supposted to
> be like this, but on the other side I know that God has been with
> us and I can see that as everything worked out so well.
> (in the circumstances)
>
> Sorry it's such a long novel to read, but I really wanted to share it
> all with you.
>
> Thanks for reading.
>
> Natalie
> Mummy to ^Alex^ 2nd April 2009
> Mummy to Matthew age 3, Bethany age 2
>

Hi Everyone,

Our little boy Alex James Murdoch was born via c-section on Thursday 2nd April
2009 at 3.12pm, he become an angel at 3.27pm, we had him with us for 15 precious
minutes.

Alex weight 880grams, (1lb,15oz)
Length  35cms, (nearly 14 inches)
Alex was 30.1 weeks when he was born.

In such hard times I can see how God was working everything together.
I had gotten to the point that carrying him was affecting my health,
due to the "poly". But I couldn't say myself it was time to have our
little man.  I had to and was holding out until the doctor said it's time.  My
doctor and midwife were both away on holidays. Our midwife had told us if Alex
was going to be born that she whould would come in, as she wasn't going away
anywhere.  The replacement doctor we had was fantastic, he has the best bedside
manner, just what was needed in our situation.  I had asked previously about my
mother coming in to the theatre but was told this wasn't possible. The best we
could hope for was Mum coming into the recovery room.  I just wanted my mum to
hold Alex while he was alive, and I guess I didn't think he would make it to the
recover room.  (which he didn't). I was due to go to Theatre
at 3.30pm, but they came for me at 2.15pm, lots of things happened
last minute. Mum was allowed to come into the Theatre with me and
my husband Stephen. Someone from the hospital video taped for us in Theatre,
which normally no video cameras are allowed in the Theatre.
So Stephen, Mum and myself all got to hold Alex while he was alive.
We have some great pictures of Alex and Alex with our family.
I haven't seen the video footage yet. Plus my sister and family had a
holiday booked, so I thought that they wouldn't be around when Alex
was born but it worked out that they flew out the night of the funeral.
The other amazing thing was most of my family didn't want to see Alex
and that hurt me, but the way things happened on the day,
both my sisters saw him and it mean the world to me.  The paedetrician we had
was also fantastic he saw us a couple of days after Alex was
born and said that Alex had a severe case of anen. And even if I had
of been physically able to continue carrying him, (as we were hoping
to get to 36 weeks, then have the c-section)it may not have given us
any more time with our little boy. This made me feel a bit better
knowing that a few more weeks in our case my have not made a difference. As I
had felt guilty about not being able to continue carrrying him any longer.

We kept Alex with us in our room for two days, it was so heart renching letting
them (funeral people) come and take away Alex.
I learnt crying after having a c-section isn't a good idea, it hurts
beyond words.

We had his funeral on Monday 6th April at 10.30am, I was discharged from the
hospital that morning and went straight to the funeral service. It was a lovely
service everything that we had hoped for,
I'm so glad that we arranged it in advance as the morning after Alex was born I
couldn't even fill in the hospital meal menu form and all I had to do was tick
boxes. There is no way that we could have given justice to arrange a funeral
service.  We had a public funeral and it was great so many people came to
remember Alex.  Somehow (with God's help) Stephen and I each read a poem at the
funeral service.

Today it's a week since our little boy was born, I know life is
supposed to go on but it's soo hard.
I'm just trying to taking a day at a time, the tears just keep
flowing, it feels so empty without him, life isn't supposted to
be like this, but on the other side I know that God has been with
us and I can see that as everything worked out so well.
(in the circumstances)

Sorry it's such a long novel to read, but I really wanted to share it
all with you.

Thanks for reading.

Natalie
Mummy to ^Alex^ 2nd April 2009
Mummy to Matthew age 3, Bethany age 2

Natalie.

I will be praying for you over the coming weeks.
This might sound odd but i would also like to Congratulate you on the birth of
your beautiful baby Alex.
I really hope your time with him is blessed and that your other children are
able to know the joy that such a gift brings, in what is also such a sad and
difficult time.

Hope to hear news of your precious Alex as soon a syour able.

God bless
Pettina xox

--- In as_ap@..., "Lea" <leannec72@...> wrote:
>
> Dearest Natalie, I know you won't be around to read this message for a little
while, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't here sooner to wish you well for the
delivery of precious Alex.  I hope that it all went as well as possible and you
got to spend some time with your beautiful son.  I pray that you have had a
chance to make some special memories with your boy, and that the time he spent
with you was gentle.  Thinking of you all with a mixture of joy at the birth of
your son, and sadness too.  My love and hugs to you and your family.  Please let
us know how you're doing soon.
>
> Lea xxxxxx
>

Dearest Natalie, I know you won't be around to read this message for a little
while, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't here sooner to wish you well for the
delivery of precious Alex.  I hope that it all went as well as possible and you
got to spend some time with your beautiful son.  I pray that you have had a
chance to make some special memories with your boy, and that the time he spent
with you was gentle.  Thinking of you all with a mixture of joy at the birth of
your son, and sadness too.  My love and hugs to you and your family.  Please let
us know how you're doing soon.

Lea xxxxxx

Natalie,
my prayers are certainly with you. I pray that you will have peace as you go for
the C section today, that the doctors and midwives will be sensitive to your
needs and Alex's needs, and that you might have time with Alex to make some
precious memories.
With love,
Vanessa, Chris & Anabelle

Vanessa, Mum to Matthew (15/9/08)


--- In as_ap@..., "nmurdoch2009" <clanmurdoch@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> Just letting you know that Alex James Murdoch will be born tomorrow afternoon
via c-section.  The 'poly' is worse and I have become extremely breathless.  The
doctor has recommended delivery.
>
> It's so daunting, I have so many emotions going through me.
> I don't want to loose Alex, but physically I know it can't continue much
longer either.
>
> Please keep us in your prayers.
>
> Thanks
> Love
> Natalie,
> Mummy to Matthew age 3, Bethany age 2 and Alex (30 weeks)
>

Hi Everyone,

Just letting you know that Alex James Murdoch will be born tomorrow afternoon
via c-section.  The 'poly' is worse and I have become extremely breathless.  The
doctor has recommended delivery.

It's so daunting, I have so many emotions going through me.
I don't want to loose Alex, but physically I know it can't continue much longer
either.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Thanks
Love
Natalie,
Mummy to Matthew age 3, Bethany age 2 and Alex (30 weeks)

Hey Vanessa,
Everything was wonderful thanks for asking.  The bub had a beautiful skull,
limbs and everything else that the baby needs to function so we were absolutely
ecstatic! All the worry left me instantly.  Now I have to wait for the 18 week
ultrasound. Something else to worry about closer to the time.  I am so glad to
hear that everything is going well with your bub. Hope that you and everyone
else is keeping well.
Pettina, I hope that everything gets better for you soon.  My thoughts are with
and I hope you get better soon.
Luv Jenny

--- In as_ap@..., "Vanessa Murphy" <chrisandvanessamurphy@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Jenny,
> How did you go with your ultrasound? I understand your feelings of fear - that
was me just 4 or 5 weeks ago. Please let us know how you are now and how it
went. I had my 16 week scan last Wed which was another relief. My doc couldn't
find the heartbeat on the previous Fri, so I was keen to know everything was OK
which it was.
> Thinking of you,
> Love Vanessa
>
>
> --- In as_ap@..., "Jenny" <jenzi83@> wrote:
> >
> > Hello,
> >
> > Hope all of you are doing well.  Just thought I'd let you all know that my
12 week ultrasound is this friday and I am very, very scared.
> >
> > Things have been different with this pregnancy from my pregnancy with
Isabell.   With Isabell we did'nt buy anything even though we did'nt know
anything was wrong with her.  This time I've already gone out and bought the
baby things (this might be just my inner self trying to make sure that this baby
will be fine).  We always get our ultrasounds done at the same place and with
Isabell they never gave us a photo of the ultrasound on either the 10 week or
the 19 week one when we found out.  When I went for the 8 week ultrasound a few
weeks ago they automatically gave us a photo of the baby.
> >
> > I really do think that I am just trying convince myself that everything is
going to be okay but I still feel so nervous.  I don't think I could go through
it all over again.  Even if the baby does'nt have anenecephaly I'm still worried
that something else could be wrong.  I feel helpless because it is all out of my
hands and all I can do is wait.  Its making me feel sick in the stomach.  I
don't want to think the worst because I don't want to be so negative but I just
can't help it.  Matty is convinced that everything is going to be fine and I
hope he is right.
> >
> > Anyways
> > Take care of yourselves
> > Jenny
> >
>

Hi Jenny,
How did you go with your ultrasound? I understand your feelings of fear - that
was me just 4 or 5 weeks ago. Please let us know how you are now and how it
went. I had my 16 week scan last Wed which was another relief. My doc couldn't
find the heartbeat on the previous Fri, so I was keen to know everything was OK
which it was.
Thinking of you,
Love Vanessa


--- In as_ap@..., "Jenny" <jenzi83@...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> Hope all of you are doing well.  Just thought I'd let you all know that my 12
week ultrasound is this friday and I am very, very scared.
>
> Things have been different with this pregnancy from my pregnancy with Isabell.
With Isabell we did'nt buy anything even though we did'nt know anything was
wrong with her.  This time I've already gone out and bought the baby things
(this might be just my inner self trying to make sure that this baby will be
fine).  We always get our ultrasounds done at the same place and with Isabell
they never gave us a photo of the ultrasound on either the 10 week or the 19
week one when we found out.  When I went for the 8 week ultrasound a few weeks
ago they automatically gave us a photo of the baby.
>
> I really do think that I am just trying convince myself that everything is
going to be okay but I still feel so nervous.  I don't think I could go through
it all over again.  Even if the baby does'nt have anenecephaly I'm still worried
that something else could be wrong.  I feel helpless because it is all out of my
hands and all I can do is wait.  Its making me feel sick in the stomach.  I
don't want to think the worst because I don't want to be so negative but I just
can't help it.  Matty is convinced that everything is going to be fine and I
hope he is right.
>
> Anyways
> Take care of yourselves
> Jenny
>

Hey Vanessa..

Sorry i havent been in contact. I would love to catch up...Things have not been
great with me and i have been in hospital... Prayers would go a long way right
now.

Pettina


--- In as_ap@..., "Vanessa Murphy" <chrisandvanessamurphy@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Pettina,
> Haven't heard from you in a while..hope you're OK. Has John had enough work
lately?
> Would love to get together again, but things have been HECTIC! I'm hoping the
world slows down and lets me off very soon, before I explode!
> Yes, life has been tough lately, but we'll survive.
> Thinking of you and the other girls in the group too,
> Love Vanessa
>