THE RURAL AUSTRALIA THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY


Log On - Make the barbecue hotter
Log Off - The barbecue is too hot
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbecue
Download - Get the firewood off the Ute
Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold tinnies
Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard - Where you hang the Ute and bike keys
Window - What you shut when it's cold
Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte - What mosquitoes do
Bit - What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte - What Townsville mosquitoes do
Chip - A bar snack
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe - What holds the shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The shed or under the verandah
Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
Search Engine - What you do when the Ute won't go
Yahoo - What you say when the Ute does go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online - When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up.




Narelle Bell


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