If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!!
>
> This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the
> brave.
>
> Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
>
>
>
> Pursue at your leisure, English lovers.
>
>
>
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>
> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>
> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>
> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>
> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>
> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
> present the present.
>
> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>
> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>
> 10) I did not object to the object.
>
> 11)! The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>
> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>
> 13) They were too close to the door to close it
>
> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>
> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>
> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>
> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
>
> 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
>
> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>
> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>
> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>
>
>
> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
> pine in pineapple.
>
>
>
> English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France
> (Surprise!).
>
>
> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
>
>
> Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
> neither from Guinea or is it a pig.
>
>
> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
> groce and hammers don't ham?
>
>
> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
>
>
> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>
>
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
>
>
> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
> them,
>
> what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
>
>
>
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
>
>
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>
>
> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
>
>
> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
>
>
> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>
>
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
> and a wise guy are opposites?
>
>
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
> house can burn up as it burns down,
>
>
> in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm
> goes off by going on.
>
>
> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
> creativity of the human race,
>
>
> which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars
> are out, they are visible,
>
>
> but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
>
>
> P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
>
>

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Narelle Bell

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