http://money.guardian.co.uk/work/story/0,,1924889,00.html

this made me laugh

5 Treat appraisals as auditions for panto

An appraisal is where you have an exchange of opinion
with your boss. It's called an exchange of opinion
because you go in with your opinion and leave with
their opinion. When you have had a bad year, the best
approach is a balance between cringeing apology and
grovelling sycophancy, something like: "My respect for
you is so intense that it sometimes distracted me,
thereby causing the continual string of major cock-ups
that have been the main feature of my performance this
year." Interestingly, giving appraisals is actually as
hard as getting them. The secret is to mix criticism
with recognition. For example: "You've made a number
of mistakes Martin, but we recognise you made them
because you are a total idiot."

8 Try not to upset anyone

Think how easy it is to upset someone at home and then
triple it: that is how easy it is to upset someone at
work. Upsetting your boss is the easiest thing to do
in the office (apart from their job that is). All you
have to do is turn up and you've got yourself well and
truly in their bad books. Keeping on the right side of
them is simply a matter of anticipating their every
whim, completing work before they decide it's needed
and laughing at their pathetic jokes rather than their
pathetic dress sense. People at the bottom of the
office pile are equally easy to upset. If your job is
to push a button you are not going to take kindly to
anyone who tells you where, when and how to push it.
Only those people who respect your absolute mastery of
button-pushing will be allowed to benefit from a
display of the aforesaid mastery.

17 Find the right person

Everyone in the office is the right person for
something. They have the experience, the programme,
the form, the docket, the knowledge or the key to make
something happen in the easiest manner possible. But
when somebody else wants to do this particular thing
the last person in the universe they will ask is the
right person. Instead they reinvent the wheel, take
their driving test and do a couple of horrific crash
tests. In this way everyone has to learn to do
everything from scratch. That is what they mean when
they talk about a learning organisation.



****************************
fran m

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com