got this from my student forum, i think its rather
good

GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND

Lawyers should never ask a southern grandma a question
if they aren't
prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand.
He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big
disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,
he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the
defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know
him."

The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both councillors to approach the bench
and, in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her
if she knows me,
I'll send you both to the electric chair."


****************************
fran m

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