WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
The latest edition of Warrior Librarian Weekly is now available online.
Featured stories include:
* SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY: Aussie librarians innocent of Middle East war
involvement
* COPYRIGHT: Hollywood Sound Effects Library dispute settled
* HEALTH AND SAFETY: What should library folk NOT eat?
* RESEARCH: Domestic duties interfere with librarians' professional
duties
* LANGUAGE AND LITERACY: Guilty as charged
This issue also includes a fabulous tip for library management, a new
procrastination tool, plus other stuff that we think at least a few
people will find interesting ...
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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I wasn't complaining Fran - just an observation. Isn't it up to all of us to
contribute? Maybe the world just isn't very funny at the moment!
fmonaghan2002 <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote: its too hot to search for jokes,
maybe i should write some instead..
fran.
---------------------------------
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Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I know none of this is actually pertinent to libraries, but no-one has sent
anything funny for so long (except the warrier librarian)
This is rated PG - mild course language -sorry if it offends
ADVICE FOR 2006.
1*DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite
tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another
song you like and hum that instead.
2*CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by
having a p*ss before the film starts.
3*RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by
actually speaking clearly in the first place.
4*DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with
your old bank statements.
5*WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking
red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove
the stains.
6*MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it
to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
7*EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half
the CVs into the bin.
8*ALCOHOL: Makes an ideal substitute for happiness.
9*MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to
the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your
wife from having to do it.
10*GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending $50 to
yourself by NZ Post.
11*BLIND PEOPLE: Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by
not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.
12*DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your
horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send
them on their way.
13*PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving
everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the
morning, simply move it all back again.
14*CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the
valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
15*DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help';
simply shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.
16*MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst
driving. Simply pop you're mobile inside a large shell and the police will think
you are listening to the sea.
17*SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing
outside a supermarket with several bags of shopping, looking at your
watch and occasionally glancing inside.
18*BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the
egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph.
After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
19*ALCOHOLICS: don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to
the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.
20*McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they
blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.
21*WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a
s**t anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house
afterwards
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
With a free 1 GB, there's more in store with Yahoo! Mail.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
***********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
Yes, you had to wait a while for this edition, but now it's out and
available for your professional development.
This edition features articles on:
* Management: Friction at the Fiction Shelves
* Conferences: WLW proxied @ ALA Mid Winter conference
* Stereotypes: Specks appeal found to be discriminatory
* Internet: Investigation slated into serious ommission
* Literacy: The comedy of currency
Also, The Editorial Soapbox is augemented with yet another memorable
quote; the Day Job Blog has a little something extra for travel-hounds;
there's a one-off library-related joke; and a BRAND NEW hit counters
(Beta version, so here's hoping!).
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
__ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __
\_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/
<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>
/_,/\,_\ '/.\' /_,/\,_\ '/.\' /_,/\,_\ '/.\' /_,/\,_\
\/ \/ \/ \/
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
The bumper December 2005 Edition is now available online. This issue
features include:
* Library Promotion: Making the most of seasonal goodwill
* Library Administration: Yahoo News makes an error
* Literary Awards: Whitbread under challenge
* Career Success Tips: The Seven habits of highly successful librarians
* Language: English as she is spoke?
In addition to regular columns such as Editorial Soapbox and Memorable
Quotes, there are also some new items.
As our gift to you, Warrior Librarian Update Subscribers are able to
access the Warrior Librarian 2006 Horoscope a month before the rest of
the planet. Just go to:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBLAUGHS/ASTROLOGY/2006Astrology.pdf
Printing this pdf requires A3 paper, or you can use your printer options
to 'shrink to fit'.
Enjoy, and have a safe and happy holiday.
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
__ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __
\_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/
<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>
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A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender "Hey, you
wanna
hear a blonde joke?"!
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you
tell
that joke, sir, I think it is just fair -given that you are blind -
that you
should know five things:
First - The bartender is a blonde girl.
Second - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
Third - I'm a 6 feet tall, 120 kg blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
Fourth - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter, and
Fifth - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah...
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
I enjoyed these. Hasn't been too much laughter lately. Must get to the hippo
races one day(!!).
Narelle
fran monaghan <franmonaghan@...> wrote:
thanks to dora for these jokes:)
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They
> were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the
> actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a raw
> sense of humour.
>
> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
> TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
> them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
> (USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle
> of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
> every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
> Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
> and we'll send the rest of the
> directions.
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys
> Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
> A: You are a British politician, right?
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
> round? (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
> illegal.
>
> Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
> rattlesnake serum. (USA)
> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
> Australian snakes are perfectly
> harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
> its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives
> in trees. (USA)
> A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
> of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking
> underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
> urine before you go out walking.
>
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
> A: Only at Christmas.
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
> -
-
<http://member.telpacific.com.au/sparkle>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
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Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thanks to dora for these jokes:)
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They
> were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the
> actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a raw
> sense of humour.
>
> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
> TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
> them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
> (USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle
> of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
> every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
> Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
> and we'll send the rest of the
> directions.
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys
> Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
> A: You are a British politician, right?
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
> round? (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
> illegal.
>
> Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
> rattlesnake serum. (USA)
> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
> Australian snakes are perfectly
> harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
> its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives
> in trees. (USA)
> A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
> of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking
> underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
> urine before you go out walking.
>
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
> A: Only at Christmas.
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
> -
-
<http://member.telpacific.com.au/sparkle>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
*****************
Dear highly valued and exceptionally intelligent WLW update subscriber,
The latest edition of the world's premier online satirical library
journal is now available ... and it's not even late (this time).
Feature stories include:
* Workplace relations: Another day at the office?
* Hindsight Institute proves its value
* Tasmanian librarian wins Australian title
* Reading promotion: 55 towns, 5,000 km later ...
plus, a rather shocking incident reported in the Editorial Soapbox. All
your favorite columns are also included, at absolutely NO extra charge!
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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this is my first attempt at library humour so be kind ok?
things they dont tell you in library school
1. once you graduate every library you enter will have someone
lounging around who recognises you and will immediately start the
rumour that you are after their job
2. inevitably you are going to become the kind of smart alec who gets
into abstract conversations with the shelver about the quirks of the
catalogue.
3. When a librarian comes up to you while you are mucking around on
the computers and tells you to shush, you are going to snigger. This
may or may not get you into difficulties regarding your unpaid fines.
So don't say I didnt warn you.
4. When an mature aged citizen asks you what you are giggling about so
inanely while looking at the screen, you will segue into a discussion
about pornography in public places without batting an eyelid. You
will also direct him to the nearest Rare Books Section of an academic
library, where, you assure him, he can have a private booth.
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
******************************
Dear Warrior Librarian update subscriber,
Issue #222 is now available online. For free. Even if it is a tad
late. Again. This issue feature stories include:
* School librarian takes major literary prize for story about a
librarian
* Hindsight Institute forges ahead
* Mobility for young adult readers
* Book covering fiasco resolved
plus lots more. Regular readers will know the routine by now, and new
subscribers will get used to it. Maybe.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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San Francisco Chronicle
Geoffrey Nunberg, clever media linguist, examines what our words
really mean, including the way Bush says 'nucular'
Heidi Benson, Chronicle Staff Writer
Thursday, July 8, 2004
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/07/08/DDG1P7HEVA1.DTL
""In the mouths of those people, 'nucular' is a choice, not an
inadvertent mistake -- a thinko, not a typo," says Nunberg, who is a
senior researcher at the Center for the Study of Language and
Information and a linguistics professor at Stanford."
"If there is such a thing as a standup linguist, it's Nunberg....
Fans of "Fresh Air" will recognize his radio voice -- a smooth, amused
baritone. His timely commentary has been heard on that popular
National Public Radio show since its inception.
A collection of his most recent essays -- some of which were written
for The San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the New
York Times -- was published by Public Affairs in May.
"Going Nucular: Language, Politics and Culture in Controversial Times"
is an unapologetically partisan book that ponders the evolution of
such terms as "regime change," "axis of evil" and "class warfare."
Nunberg may be fairly described as the left's answer to William Safire
(the former Nixon speechwriter whose New York Times grammar column is
a must-read for word lovers and newshounds).
"The titles of his essays alone signal mischief ("Beleaguered
Infidel," "Caucasian Talk Circles," "We'll Always Have Kirkuk") and a
familiarity with the American songbook ("Begin the Regime," "Where the
Left Commences").
Whether taken aurally or read on the page, his writing -- like the
best dinner-party conversation -- is provocative, brainy and funny,
spiced with deft quotes from Austen, Camus and Shakespeare.
Linguistics is a technical discipline that analyzes the structure of
language using tools derived from mathematics and logic -- which,
Nunberg admits, "can be very formidable to a lay person."
What's funny is all that brainpower used to peer behind words.
"Whenever you have repressed material lying just below the surface,
you have an opportunity for a gag," he says, citing David Sedaris and
Jerry Seinfeld. "Humor has to do with pointing out the obvious."
WORD GAMES
Here are a few examples of linguist and commentator Geoffrey Nunberg's
insights into the way we talk today:
Blog: A syllable whose time has come.
Google: You don't get to be a verb unless you're doing something right.
Postmodernism: Once more without feeling.
E-mail Heidi Benson at hbenson@....
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
There's a new humor page for you to read whilst the Famous October issue
is in preparation. See:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBLAUGHS/gonebad.html
A printer-friendly link is available at the bottom of the above webpage
for you to print your very own COLOR(!) miniposter.
If your printer does not accept the larger format, use the pdf print
option of "shrink to fit" to get a smaller version.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian]
email: abcredaro@...
******************************
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WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
Yep, the next issue is now available online. This edition features:
* Hindsight Institute announced (note not all of the associated links
are working as this is being written - but the 'guts' are in place)
* "Library Police" no joke
* Delux Nancy [Action Library Figure] now available
* New library comic hits the bookshops
and lots more.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia the Warrior Librarian]
email: abcredaro@...
****************************
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Sorry - didn't realise the attachment would disappear...
like I said tho'you probably know these already.
Ø If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Ø Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Ø If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Ø If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people
from Holland called Holes? hehehe......
Ø Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Oops...
Ø Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Ø If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Ø Why is it called building when it is already built?
Ø If a book about failures sells, is it a success?
Ø If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking
lots?
Ø If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?
Ø If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Ø If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???
Narelle Bell
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You have probably already thought about all this!
Note: forwarded message attached.
Narelle Bell
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
*********************
Dear Warrior Librarian update subscriber,
Edition #220 is now available. This edition features:
* Disaster recovery - what NOT to do
* The world's most recent study on librarianship stereotyping
* Google Earth - and subversive use by government agencies
* Computer viruses and a timely warning
plus the infamous Editorial Soapbox, Quote of the Week (very unlikely to
be anywhere else on the 'net), and lots more!
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian]
email: abcredaro@...
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A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the
lottery. With his newfound wealth, he decides on exactly what he will buy. He
buys a 20 acre plot of land in Mexico and hires an architect.
"I want mi casa to be built right there, with big columns in front,
and a marble foyer, and at the end of the hall I want a halo statue." The
architect, excited aboutmaking mega bucks off this man, jots down
exactly what the Mexican wants,"I'll do it sir, I'll make this a fine house
for you!"
All the plans are made and the architect starts construction. He
searches six different countries to find exquisite columns for the front of the
house and has marble shipped in from France to line the foyer.
The only problem he has is that he cannot locate a halo statue.
Knowing that religious symbols are important to many Mexicans, he continues to
search high and low for month after month. The house is finally
complete, but alas, the architect was never able to locate a halo statue.
Swallowing his pride for not being able to complete the order, he
takes the Mexican to see his new home.
"Si Senor!" exclaims the Mexican. "You got da columns in front of mi
casa!"
The architect smiles. They enter the house and the Mexican notices the
marble floor. "Wonderful! I love mi new marble floor Senor!" states
the Mexican as he wanders down the hall. He reaches the end of the hall
and looks puzzled.
"Senor? Where is my halo statue?" asks the Mexican. "Well, sir, I'm
afraid to have to tell you this, but I searched high and low and just could
not for the life of me figure out what a halo statue is, much less find
one for you anywhere," says the architect, hanging his head in shame.
"What? You don't know what a halo statue is?"
"No, sir, I'm sorry, I do not know," replies the architect.
"You know," says the Mexican, "it's that thing that goes 'ringy dingy'
and you pick it up and say, 'halo? statue?"
Narelle Bell
__________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
A new young monk arrives at the monastery.
He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and Laws of the
church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from
copies, not from the original manuscript
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if
someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up.
In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but
you make a good point, my son.". So he goes down into the dark caves underneath
the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked
vault that hasn't been opened for
hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and
goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall,
and wailing "We forgot the 'R', We forgot the 'R'."
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "Celebrate, the word is celebrate."
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Subject: Tenjewberrymuds
>>To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what
'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated
for the best email of 2005.
>>The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
>>room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in
>>the Far East Economic Review:
>>Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
>>Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
>>RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
>>G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
>>RS: "Ow July den?"
>>G: "What??"
>>RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
>>G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
>>RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
>>G: "Crisp will be fine."
>>RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
>>G: "What?"
>>RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
>>G: "I don't think so."
>>RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
>>G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes'
means."
>>RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
>>G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an
English muffin will be fine."
>>RS: "We bodder?"
>>G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
>>RS: "Wad?"
>>G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
>>RS: "Copy?"
>>G: "Excuse me?"
>>RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
>>G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
>>RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh
and copy....rye??"
>>G: "Whatever you say."
>>RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
>>G : "You're very welcome."
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There isn't much to laugh about. I did those subjects a few years ago. You're
doing well to even consider having a sense of humour during all this -
especially the cricket! On second thoughts some of their antics do offer plenty
to laugh about!
Narelle
poet <poemsandpoetry2002@...> wrote:
the ashes series of cricket matches have been on, and before that it
was the tour de france, and now im wading through essays on
information literacy, info tech in libraries and contemporary library
management.
should be plenty of room for lighthearted remarks on those subjects
one would have thought. Perhaps when I have absorbed the theory I will
feel able to improvise on a theme
---------------------------------
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Narelle Bell
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the ashes series of cricket matches have been on, and before that it
was the tour de france, and now im wading through essays on
information literacy, info tech in libraries and contemporary library
management.
should be plenty of room for lighthearted remarks on those subjects
one would have thought. Perhaps when I have absorbed the theory I will
feel able to improvise on a theme
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update subcriber,
Edition #219 is now available online. If you enjoyed the last edition,
there's a good chance this one might also amuse you. However, if
nothing appealed to you in WLW #218, maybe this one will be better for
you. Although maybe it won't. Sigh.
Amanda Credaro
(Crumpling after yet another day at the office)
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
Apparently not suffering at all!
*****************************
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WARRIOR LIBRARIAN WEEKLY:
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The media arm of Warrior Librarian
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN:
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
The Website of the Warrior Librarian
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
********************
Dear Warrior Librarian update subscriber,
The August Issue is now available online. In addition to the fabulous
feature stories (some of which are actually true), you can also access
the latest WLW Humor Feature - The Warrior Librarian Guide to Safe
Reading. A pdf printout of The Guide is also available; see the
Editorial Soapbox for the link URL.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
Note: The so-called "warrior librarian" over at Blogspot is not me; is
not connected with either myself, my alter-ego, or the world-famous
online satirical library journal of the same name. Sheesh!
*************************************
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WARRIOR LIBRARIAN WEEKLY:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/index2.htm
The media arm of Warrior Librarian
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN:
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
The Website of the Warrior Librarian
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**********************
Dear Update notification subscriber,
You've waited all month for Issue #217 - now it's here! Feature stories
this week include:
* Leading author branded as 'horrible'
* Experiment goes horribly wrong
* Leading light found guilty
* Irony of the month
This edition's featured website might already be known to many, but for
those who haven't seen it ....
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian]
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I finally found the one I had in mind. It was only in hard copy so I have to
retype it!
Actual radio transcript released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95
Station #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a
collision.
Station #2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a
collision.
Station #1: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR
course.
Station #2: No. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Station #1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF
THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
Station #2: This is the Puget Sound Lighthouse. It's your call.
(Narelle: I wonder where the lighthouse is now??)
Narelle Bell
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN WEEKLY:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/index2.htm
The media arm of Warrior Librarian
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN:
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
The Website of the Warrior Librarian
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
******************************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update subscriber,
The latest edition is now online. Read about:
* the author who carried out their threat to Warrior Librarian
* Internet Scout's newest venture
* Are Blogs (as we know them) about to be superceded?
* Paradigm shifts in library security
and other stuff too.
This week's Website of the Week is bound to score with Scrabble/Literati
players; the Quote of the Week will appeal to school librarians in
particular; and more other stuff.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian]
*********************
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