Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program
at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer
knowledge between my younger and older students.
My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked
into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes
stacked on a bookshelf.
"What are all these books?" he asked.
Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias.
"Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole thing?"
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Mail
Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hehehehehehe.
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> THE RURAL AUSTRALIA THESAURUS OF COMPUTER
> TERMINOLOGY
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
THE RURAL AUSTRALIA THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY
Log On - Make the barbecue hotter
Log Off - The barbecue is too hot
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbecue
Download - Get the firewood off the Ute
Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold tinnies
Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard - Where you hang the Ute and bike keys
Window - What you shut when it's cold
Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte - What mosquitoes do
Bit - What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte - What Townsville mosquitoes do
Chip - A bar snack
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe - What holds the shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The shed or under the verandah
Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
Search Engine - What you do when the Ute won't go
Yahoo - What you say when the Ute does go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online - When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Mail
Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs,
they call me a
bitch.
When I stand up for
those I love,
they call me a
bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.
Being a bitch
means I won't
compromise what's
in my heart.
It means I live my life
MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to
tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am
defined as a
bitch.
The same thing happens when I take
time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am
and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken,
opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with
that!
So try to stomp on me,
try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within
me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch ,
so be it.
I embrace the title and
am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
"If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it."
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Autos. Looking for a sweet ride? Get pricing, reviews, & more on new and
used cars.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I want to introduce you to the Van Gogh family tree.
. His dizzy Aunt? Verti Gogh
. His brother who ate prunes? Gotta Gogh
. His brother who worked at the convenience store? Stopn Gogh
. The brother who bleached his clothes white? Hue Gogh
. His cousin from Illinois? Chica Gogh
. The magician uncle? Wherediddy Gogh
. His Mexican cousin? Amee Gogh
. The Mexican cousin's American half brother? Grin Gogh
. The nephew who drove a stage coach? Wellsfar Gogh
. The ball room dancing aunt? Tan Gogh
. His bird loving uncle? Flamin Gogh
. His nephew the psychoanalyst? E. Gogh
. The sister who loved disco? Go Gogh
. His niece who travels all around the country? Winnie Bay Gogh
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Brings words and photos together (easily) with
PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Privacy??? What will we keep on our records?
http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The policy is if you dont like it don't read it and I don't wnat to know if
you're offended! The end. Any objections?...
Can't hear anything.
Motion carried. No-one can be offended by anything we post.
fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
feel free to write a policy document if that makes you
happy:)my policy is never to comment... unless i feel
like it:)
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> Fran
> so you're ok with whatever I (or anyone) finds and
> posts - I guess we can say that if no-one else has
> any objections that it is free for all - and too bad
> to anyone who is offended by anything!!! There seems
> to be quite a few members. It would be sad if the
> only other posts are to whinge (especialy when w're
> here for a laugh):)
>
> fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> im like totally against guidelines:) err...well
> you
> know what i mean...dont want to get all prescriptive
> here...
> since you and i are the only posters i reckon it
> would
> be a bit of overkill:)
>
> --- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
>
> > I'll have to start sending some of the stuff that
> > gets forwarded to me - very selectively though!
> > Should we have some guidelines on what's in etc
> > (can't defy anti-discrimination) but we may have
> to
> > go beyond library type stuff. Anybody got any
> other
> > interests/topics that are off limits?
> >
> > Narelle
> >
> > fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> > i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
> > remmebr how to send an email without using the
> > webmail
> > form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
> >
> > ****************************
> > frances monaghan
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> > protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> > To visit your group on the web, go to:
> >
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email
> to:
> >
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> > Yahoo! Terms of Service.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Narelle Bell
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Brings words and photos together (easily) with
> > PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo!
> Mail.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been
> > removed]
> >
> >
>
>
> ****************************
> frances monaghan
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
> Narelle Bell
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
> What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo!
> Autos
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
feel free to write a policy document if that makes you
happy:)my policy is never to comment... unless i feel
like it:)
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> Fran
> so you're ok with whatever I (or anyone) finds and
> posts - I guess we can say that if no-one else has
> any objections that it is free for all - and too bad
> to anyone who is offended by anything!!! There seems
> to be quite a few members. It would be sad if the
> only other posts are to whinge (especialy when w're
> here for a laugh):)
>
> fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> im like totally against guidelines:) err...well
> you
> know what i mean...dont want to get all prescriptive
> here...
> since you and i are the only posters i reckon it
> would
> be a bit of overkill:)
>
> --- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
>
> > I'll have to start sending some of the stuff that
> > gets forwarded to me - very selectively though!
> > Should we have some guidelines on what's in etc
> > (can't defy anti-discrimination) but we may have
> to
> > go beyond library type stuff. Anybody got any
> other
> > interests/topics that are off limits?
> >
> > Narelle
> >
> > fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> > i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
> > remmebr how to send an email without using the
> > webmail
> > form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
> >
> > ****************************
> > frances monaghan
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> > protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> > To visit your group on the web, go to:
> >
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email
> to:
> >
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> > Yahoo! Terms of Service.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Narelle Bell
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Brings words and photos together (easily) with
> > PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo!
> Mail.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been
> > removed]
> >
> >
>
>
> ****************************
> frances monaghan
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
> Narelle Bell
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
> What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo!
> Autos
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Fran
so you're ok with whatever I (or anyone) finds and posts - I guess we can say
that if no-one else has any objections that it is free for all - and too bad to
anyone who is offended by anything!!! There seems to be quite a few members. It
would be sad if the only other posts are to whinge (especialy when w're here for
a laugh):)
fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
im like totally against guidelines:) err...well you
know what i mean...dont want to get all prescriptive
here...
since you and i are the only posters i reckon it would
be a bit of overkill:)
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> I'll have to start sending some of the stuff that
> gets forwarded to me - very selectively though!
> Should we have some guidelines on what's in etc
> (can't defy anti-discrimination) but we may have to
> go beyond library type stuff. Anybody got any other
> interests/topics that are off limits?
>
> Narelle
>
> fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
> remmebr how to send an email without using the
> webmail
> form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
>
> ****************************
> frances monaghan
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
> Narelle Bell
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Brings words and photos together (easily) with
> PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo! Autos
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
im like totally against guidelines:) err...well you
know what i mean...dont want to get all prescriptive
here...
since you and i are the only posters i reckon it would
be a bit of overkill:)
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> I'll have to start sending some of the stuff that
> gets forwarded to me - very selectively though!
> Should we have some guidelines on what's in etc
> (can't defy anti-discrimination) but we may have to
> go beyond library type stuff. Anybody got any other
> interests/topics that are off limits?
>
> Narelle
>
> fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
> i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
> remmebr how to send an email without using the
> webmail
> form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
>
> ****************************
> frances monaghan
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
> Narelle Bell
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Brings words and photos together (easily) with
> PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
I'll have to start sending some of the stuff that gets forwarded to me - very
selectively though! Should we have some guidelines on what's in etc (can't defy
anti-discrimination) but we may have to go beyond library type stuff. Anybody
got any other interests/topics that are off limits?
Narelle
fran m <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote:
i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
remmebr how to send an email without using the webmail
form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Brings words and photos together (easily) with
PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
i cant see winding up as an option, i cant even
remmebr how to send an email without using the webmail
form...and sometimes it doesnt work:)
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
i didnt unsubscribe it:)
--- Narelle B <narbell3@...> wrote:
> Are we winding up? Our main regular contributer has
> been unsubscribed?
>
> Narelle
>
> Topica Customer Care <support@...> wrote:
> Hello!
>
> You have successfully unsubscribed from Warrior
> Lib'n.
> If you're looking for newsletters or discussions
> that better suit your taste,
> start with Topica's home page. Check out our content
> channels or just search
> our site here:
>
> http://lists.topica.com
>
> If you're interested in great deals on the products
> and services you want,
> check out our money-saving TopOffers here:
>
>
http://lists.topica.com/partner/sysmes1/channels/offers/
>
>
> Here is a goodbye message from Amanda Credaro:
>
>
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks for being with the Warrior Librarian list.
> It was nice to have you.
>
> Best wishes for the future,
>
> Amanda Credaro
> AKA Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
>
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> TRY, TRY AGAIN
> ====================================================
> Is this all a big mistake? If you did not want to
> leave Warrior Lib'n,
> you can resubscribe by sending a blank email to:
>
> warrior_librarian-subscribe@...
>
>
> Or, if the problem was simply that you got too much
> email, why not try the
> digest version of the list? To subscribe into digest
> mode, send a blank email
> to:
>
> warrior_librarian-subscribe-digest@...
>
>
> HELP DESK
> ====================================================
> If you believe someone has used your email address
> without your consent,
> please contact Topica's Abuse Team at:
> abuse@...
>
> Still have questions? We're here to help. Simply
> email Topica's Customer
> Support at: feedback@...
>
> Please include the email address of the list in
> question and the email address
> you use to subscribe to the list.
>
>
> Sincerely,
> Topica Customer Support
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
> Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
> Narelle Bell
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
> What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo!
> Autos
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
****************************
frances monaghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Are we winding up? Our main regular contributer has been unsubscribed?
Narelle
Topica Customer Care <support@...> wrote:
Hello!
You have successfully unsubscribed from Warrior Lib'n.
If you're looking for newsletters or discussions that better suit your taste,
start with Topica's home page. Check out our content channels or just search
our site here:
http://lists.topica.com
If you're interested in great deals on the products and services you want,
check out our money-saving TopOffers here:
http://lists.topica.com/partner/sysmes1/channels/offers/
Here is a goodbye message from Amanda Credaro:
-------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for being with the Warrior Librarian list. It was nice to have you.
Best wishes for the future,
Amanda Credaro
AKA Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
-------------------------------------------------------
TRY, TRY AGAIN
====================================================
Is this all a big mistake? If you did not want to leave Warrior Lib'n,
you can resubscribe by sending a blank email to:
warrior_librarian-subscribe@...
Or, if the problem was simply that you got too much email, why not try the
digest version of the list? To subscribe into digest mode, send a blank email
to:
warrior_librarian-subscribe-digest@...
HELP DESK
====================================================
If you believe someone has used your email address without your consent,
please contact Topica's Abuse Team at: abuse@...
Still have questions? We're here to help. Simply email Topica's Customer
Support at: feedback@...
Please include the email address of the list in question and the email address
you use to subscribe to the list.
Sincerely,
Topica Customer Support
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo! Autos
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hello!
You have successfully unsubscribed from Warrior Lib'n.
If you're looking for newsletters or discussions that better suit your taste,
start with Topica's home page. Check out our content channels or just search
our site here:
http://lists.topica.com
If you're interested in great deals on the products and services you want,
check out our money-saving TopOffers here:
http://lists.topica.com/partner/sysmes1/channels/offers/
Here is a goodbye message from Amanda Credaro:
-------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for being with the Warrior Librarian list. It was nice to have you.
Best wishes for the future,
Amanda Credaro
AKA Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
-------------------------------------------------------
TRY, TRY AGAIN
====================================================
Is this all a big mistake? If you did not want to leave Warrior Lib'n,
you can resubscribe by sending a blank email to:
warrior_librarian-subscribe@...
Or, if the problem was simply that you got too much email, why not try the
digest version of the list? To subscribe into digest mode, send a blank email
to:
warrior_librarian-subscribe-digest@...
HELP DESK
====================================================
If you believe someone has used your email address without your consent,
please contact Topica's Abuse Team at: abuse@...
Still have questions? We're here to help. Simply email Topica's Customer
Support at: feedback@...
Please include the email address of the list in question and the email address
you use to subscribe to the list.
Sincerely,
Topica Customer Support
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
The latest edition of Warrior Librarian Weekly is now available online.
Featured stories include:
* SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY: Aussie librarians innocent of Middle East war
involvement
* COPYRIGHT: Hollywood Sound Effects Library dispute settled
* HEALTH AND SAFETY: What should library folk NOT eat?
* RESEARCH: Domestic duties interfere with librarians' professional
duties
* LANGUAGE AND LITERACY: Guilty as charged
This issue also includes a fabulous tip for library management, a new
procrastination tool, plus other stuff that we think at least a few
people will find interesting ...
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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I wasn't complaining Fran - just an observation. Isn't it up to all of us to
contribute? Maybe the world just isn't very funny at the moment!
fmonaghan2002 <fmonaghan2002@...> wrote: its too hot to search for jokes,
maybe i should write some instead..
fran.
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I know none of this is actually pertinent to libraries, but no-one has sent
anything funny for so long (except the warrier librarian)
This is rated PG - mild course language -sorry if it offends
ADVICE FOR 2006.
1*DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite
tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another
song you like and hum that instead.
2*CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by
having a p*ss before the film starts.
3*RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by
actually speaking clearly in the first place.
4*DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with
your old bank statements.
5*WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking
red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove
the stains.
6*MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it
to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
7*EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half
the CVs into the bin.
8*ALCOHOL: Makes an ideal substitute for happiness.
9*MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to
the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your
wife from having to do it.
10*GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending $50 to
yourself by NZ Post.
11*BLIND PEOPLE: Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by
not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.
12*DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your
horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send
them on their way.
13*PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving
everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the
morning, simply move it all back again.
14*CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the
valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
15*DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help';
simply shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.
16*MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst
driving. Simply pop you're mobile inside a large shell and the police will think
you are listening to the sea.
17*SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing
outside a supermarket with several bags of shopping, looking at your
watch and occasionally glancing inside.
18*BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the
egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph.
After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
19*ALCOHOLICS: don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to
the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.
20*McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they
blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.
21*WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a
s**t anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house
afterwards
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
With a free 1 GB, there's more in store with Yahoo! Mail.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
***********************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
Yes, you had to wait a while for this edition, but now it's out and
available for your professional development.
This edition features articles on:
* Management: Friction at the Fiction Shelves
* Conferences: WLW proxied @ ALA Mid Winter conference
* Stereotypes: Specks appeal found to be discriminatory
* Internet: Investigation slated into serious ommission
* Literacy: The comedy of currency
Also, The Editorial Soapbox is augemented with yet another memorable
quote; the Day Job Blog has a little something extra for travel-hounds;
there's a one-off library-related joke; and a BRAND NEW hit counters
(Beta version, so here's hoping!).
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
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WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
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__ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __
\_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/ .\'/. \_`\/`_/
<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>-=>*<=-<_>()<_>
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Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
The bumper December 2005 Edition is now available online. This issue
features include:
* Library Promotion: Making the most of seasonal goodwill
* Library Administration: Yahoo News makes an error
* Literary Awards: Whitbread under challenge
* Career Success Tips: The Seven habits of highly successful librarians
* Language: English as she is spoke?
In addition to regular columns such as Editorial Soapbox and Memorable
Quotes, there are also some new items.
As our gift to you, Warrior Librarian Update Subscribers are able to
access the Warrior Librarian 2006 Horoscope a month before the rest of
the planet. Just go to:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBLAUGHS/ASTROLOGY/2006Astrology.pdf
Printing this pdf requires A3 paper, or you can use your printer options
to 'shrink to fit'.
Enjoy, and have a safe and happy holiday.
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
__ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __ __ /\ __
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A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender "Hey, you
wanna
hear a blonde joke?"!
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you
tell
that joke, sir, I think it is just fair -given that you are blind -
that you
should know five things:
First - The bartender is a blonde girl.
Second - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
Third - I'm a 6 feet tall, 120 kg blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
Fourth - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter, and
Fifth - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah...
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
I enjoyed these. Hasn't been too much laughter lately. Must get to the hippo
races one day(!!).
Narelle
fran monaghan <franmonaghan@...> wrote:
thanks to dora for these jokes:)
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They
> were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the
> actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a raw
> sense of humour.
>
> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
> TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
> them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
> (USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle
> of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
> every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
> Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
> and we'll send the rest of the
> directions.
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys
> Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
> A: You are a British politician, right?
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
> round? (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
> illegal.
>
> Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
> rattlesnake serum. (USA)
> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
> Australian snakes are perfectly
> harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
> its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives
> in trees. (USA)
> A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
> of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking
> underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
> urine before you go out walking.
>
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
> A: Only at Christmas.
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
> -
-
<http://member.telpacific.com.au/sparkle>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/lightheartedlibrarians/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
lightheartedlibrarians-unsubscribe@...
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Narelle Bell
---------------------------------
Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thanks to dora for these jokes:)
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They
> were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the
> actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a raw
> sense of humour.
>
> Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
> TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
> A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
> them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
> (USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle
> of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
> every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
> Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
> and we'll send the rest of the
> directions.
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys
> Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
> Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
> A: You are a British politician, right?
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
> round? (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
> illegal.
>
> Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
> rattlesnake serum. (USA)
> A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All
> Australian snakes are perfectly
> harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
> its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives
> in trees. (USA)
> A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
> of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking
> underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
> urine before you go out walking.
>
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
> A: Only at Christmas.
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
> -
-
<http://member.telpacific.com.au/sparkle>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
*****************
Dear highly valued and exceptionally intelligent WLW update subscriber,
The latest edition of the world's premier online satirical library
journal is now available ... and it's not even late (this time).
Feature stories include:
* Workplace relations: Another day at the office?
* Hindsight Institute proves its value
* Tasmanian librarian wins Australian title
* Reading promotion: 55 towns, 5,000 km later ...
plus, a rather shocking incident reported in the Editorial Soapbox. All
your favorite columns are also included, at absolutely NO extra charge!
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
*******************************
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this is my first attempt at library humour so be kind ok?
things they dont tell you in library school
1. once you graduate every library you enter will have someone
lounging around who recognises you and will immediately start the
rumour that you are after their job
2. inevitably you are going to become the kind of smart alec who gets
into abstract conversations with the shelver about the quirks of the
catalogue.
3. When a librarian comes up to you while you are mucking around on
the computers and tells you to shush, you are going to snigger. This
may or may not get you into difficulties regarding your unpaid fines.
So don't say I didnt warn you.
4. When an mature aged citizen asks you what you are giggling about so
inanely while looking at the screen, you will segue into a discussion
about pornography in public places without batting an eyelid. You
will also direct him to the nearest Rare Books Section of an academic
library, where, you assure him, he can have a private booth.
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
******************************
Dear Warrior Librarian update subscriber,
Issue #222 is now available online. For free. Even if it is a tad
late. Again. This issue feature stories include:
* School librarian takes major literary prize for story about a
librarian
* Hindsight Institute forges ahead
* Mobility for young adult readers
* Book covering fiasco resolved
plus lots more. Regular readers will know the routine by now, and new
subscribers will get used to it. Maybe.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
email: abcredaro@...
******************************
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San Francisco Chronicle
Geoffrey Nunberg, clever media linguist, examines what our words
really mean, including the way Bush says 'nucular'
Heidi Benson, Chronicle Staff Writer
Thursday, July 8, 2004
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/07/08/DDG1P7HEVA1.DTL
""In the mouths of those people, 'nucular' is a choice, not an
inadvertent mistake -- a thinko, not a typo," says Nunberg, who is a
senior researcher at the Center for the Study of Language and
Information and a linguistics professor at Stanford."
"If there is such a thing as a standup linguist, it's Nunberg....
Fans of "Fresh Air" will recognize his radio voice -- a smooth, amused
baritone. His timely commentary has been heard on that popular
National Public Radio show since its inception.
A collection of his most recent essays -- some of which were written
for The San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the New
York Times -- was published by Public Affairs in May.
"Going Nucular: Language, Politics and Culture in Controversial Times"
is an unapologetically partisan book that ponders the evolution of
such terms as "regime change," "axis of evil" and "class warfare."
Nunberg may be fairly described as the left's answer to William Safire
(the former Nixon speechwriter whose New York Times grammar column is
a must-read for word lovers and newshounds).
"The titles of his essays alone signal mischief ("Beleaguered
Infidel," "Caucasian Talk Circles," "We'll Always Have Kirkuk") and a
familiarity with the American songbook ("Begin the Regime," "Where the
Left Commences").
Whether taken aurally or read on the page, his writing -- like the
best dinner-party conversation -- is provocative, brainy and funny,
spiced with deft quotes from Austen, Camus and Shakespeare.
Linguistics is a technical discipline that analyzes the structure of
language using tools derived from mathematics and logic -- which,
Nunberg admits, "can be very formidable to a lay person."
What's funny is all that brainpower used to peer behind words.
"Whenever you have repressed material lying just below the surface,
you have an opportunity for a gag," he says, citing David Sedaris and
Jerry Seinfeld. "Humor has to do with pointing out the obvious."
WORD GAMES
Here are a few examples of linguist and commentator Geoffrey Nunberg's
insights into the way we talk today:
Blog: A syllable whose time has come.
Google: You don't get to be a verb unless you're doing something right.
Postmodernism: Once more without feeling.
E-mail Heidi Benson at hbenson@....
WARRIOR LIBRARIAN
http://www.warriorlibrarian.com
Incorporating Warrior Librarian Weekly
Only available online for free. PLEASE don't send any money.
BIBLIA'S GUIDE TO WARRIOR LIBRARIANSHIP
http://warriorlibrarian.com/buythebook.html
The book authored by the Warrior Librarian
**************
Dear Warrior Librarian Update Subscriber,
There's a new humor page for you to read whilst the Famous October issue
is in preparation. See:
http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBLAUGHS/gonebad.html
A printer-friendly link is available at the bottom of the above webpage
for you to print your very own COLOR(!) miniposter.
If your printer does not accept the larger format, use the pdf print
option of "shrink to fit" to get a smaller version.
Enjoy!
Amanda Credaro
[aka Biblia, the Warrior Librarian]
email: abcredaro@...
******************************
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