Lets start the year with a smile

Here are some linguisitc thoughts for you Fran - you've probably already come

across most of them, but .....



English Is A Crazy Language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

pineapple.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted but, if we explore its paradoxes, we find that....

quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither

from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce

and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do

you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Humans?

If critically injured means badly injured, does critically acclaimed mean badly

acclaimed?

-------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it.





Q. What do you call a smart blonde?

A. A golden retriever.





Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?

A. Their personalities.





Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

A. 20 kgs.





Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

A. 45 minutes.





Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and

good-looking?

A. Because those men already have boyfriends.





Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.





Senior Moments 80 year old woman says to her hubby "Oh Gawd I'm convinced I'm

losing my mind" He replies "Im not surprised you've been giving me a piece of it

every day for over 20 years.



Laugh a little every day, it's better than chicken soup. At least that's what

the chickens say







Narelle Bell





       Make the switch to the world's best email. Get the new Yahoo!7 Mail now.

www.yahoo7.com.au/worldsbestemail







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]