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Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome
> By Scooter Grubb
> Just recently, after years of research, I have finally
> been able to give a name to what my wife and I have
> been living with for years.
>
> It's an affliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed
> and misunderstood can devastate and literally tear a
> family apart. Very little is known about O.C.E.A.N.
> Syndrome. But it is my hope this article will generate
> interest from researchers involved in the equine and
> psychological sciences. You will, no doubt, begin to
> identify similar symptoms in your own family and
> hopefully now be able to cope.
>
> Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis
> Syndrome (O.C.E.A.N.S) is usually found in the female
> and can manifest itself anytime from birth to the
> golden years. Symptoms may appear any time and may
> even go dormant in the late teens, but the syndrome
> frequently re-emerges in later years.
>
> Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of
> severity. Allow me to share some examples which are
> most prominent in our home.
>
> The afflicted individual:
>
> 1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can't
> tell whether milk has gone bad until it turns chunky.
> 2. Finds the occasional "Buck and Toot" session
> hugely entertaining, but severely chastises her
> husband for similar antics.
> 3. Will spend hours cleaning and conditioning her
> tack, but wants to eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.
> 4. Considers equine gaseous excretions a fragrance.
> 5. Enjoys mucking out four stalls twice a day,
> but insists on having a housekeeper mop the kitchen
> floor once a week.
> 6. Will spend an hour combing and trimming an
> equine mane, but wears a baseball cap so she doesn't
> waste time brushing her own hair.
> 7. Will dig through manure piles daily looking
> for worms, but does not fish.
> 8. Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam
> up to her shoulder, but finds cleaning out the
> Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quite repulsive.
> 9. By memory can mix eight different supplements
> in the correct proportions, but can't make macaroni
> and cheese that isn't soupy.
> 10. Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing
> algae from the water tanks, but has a problem cleaning
> lasagna out of the casserole dish.
> 11. Will pick a horse's nose, and call it
> cleaning, but becomes verbally violent when her
> husband picks his.
> 12.Can sit through a four-hour session of a
> ground work clinic, but unable to make it through a
> half-hour episode of Cops.
>
> The spouse of an afflicted victim:
>
> 1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no
> cure, and only slightly effective treatments. The
> syndrome may be genetic or caused by the inhaling of
> manure particles which, I propose, have an adverse
> effect on female hormones.
>
> 2. Must adjust the family budget to include
> equine items - hay, veterinarian services, ferrier
> services, riding boots and clothes, supplements, tack,
> equine masseuse and acupuncturist - as well as the
> (mandatory) equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have
> identified a monthly figure, never look at it again.
> Doing so will cause tightness in your chest, nausea
> and occasional diarrhea.
>
> 3. Must realize that your spouse has no control
> over this affliction. More often than not, she will
> deny a problem even exists as denial is common.
>
> 4. Must form a support group. You need to know
> you're not alone - and there's no shame in admitting
> your wife has a problem. My support group, for
> instance, involves men who truly enjoy Harley
> Davidsons, four-day weekends and lots of scotch. Most
> times, she is unaware that I am even gone, until the
> precise moment she needs help getting a 50-pound bag
> of grain out of the truck.
>
> Now you can better see how O.C.E.A.N.S. affects
> countless households in this country and abroad. It
> knows no racial, ethnic or religious boundaries. It is
> a syndrome that will be difficult to treat because
> those most affected are in denial and therefore, not
> interested in a cure.
>
> So, I am taking it upon myself to be constantly
> diligent in my research in order to pass along
> information to make it easier for caretakers to cope
> on a day to day basis.


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