Subject: Dictionary for Horse Buyers


> Big Trot ~ Can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway
>
> Nicely Started ~ lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him
yet
>
> Top Show Horse ~ won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with
> unusual low entries due to a hurricane
>
> Home Bred ~ knows nothing except being raised on the front porch
>
> Recently Vetted ~ someone else found something badly wrong with the horse
>
> Big Boned ~ good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a
> cow
>
> Doing Courses ~ when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight
> before hand
>
> Well Mannered ~ hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week
>
> Professionally Trained ~ hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a
> month
>
> Should Mature 16 hands ~ currently 13h, dam is 14.2h, sire is 15h, every
> horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will
> definitely defy his DNA and grow
>
> To Good Home Only ~ not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what
he
> is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3)
are
> willing to sign a 10 page legal document
>
> Bold ~ runaway
>
> Athletic ~ runaway
>
> Needs intermediate Rider ~ runaway
>
> Needs Experienced Rider ~ "dead" runaway
>
> Dead Quiet ~ just dead
>
> Started O/F ~ started overfeeding because we can't ride
>
> No Vices ~ especially when he wears his muzzle
>
> Light Cribber ~ we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the
> buzz saw
>
> No Time For Him ~ he's lucky to be fed
>
> Excellent Disposition ~ never been out of his stall
>
> Clips, hauls, and Loads ~ Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make
> when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him
>
> Good Broodmare prospect ~ not even a chance she's rideable
>
> Daughter outgrown ~ she's into boys now
>
> Good Dressage prospect ~ we tried him in the hunters and he's a complete
> maniac over fences
>
> "Hey cowboys, here's one for you" ~ only if you're into bucking stock
>
> Big circle horse ~ can't turn in 240 acres
>
> great stops ~ slams those shoulders and launches rider every time!
>
> easy to catch ~ in a 10 X 10 stall
>
> easy to load ~ only takes 3 hours, 4 men and a tractor with loader
>
> rides good ~ not rideable, but rides the trailer good.
>
> gentle ~ to other horses... he tore out 3 inches of my hair, kicked the
kid
> and chased mother all the way cross the pasture.
>
> smooth ~ mouthed that is... his gaits are enough to make you smooth
mouthed
> too... rattle your teeth loose!
>
> Spirited ~ Loves to run all out all the time.
>
> Good mother ~ Awful at everything else.
>
> Protective mother. ~ Don't even think about getting near that baby until
> weaning time.
>
> Easy breeder ~ A stallion that will mount anything that moves.
>
> Has beautiful babies ~ good, because she's plug ugly herself.
>
> Pasture horse ~ He'll kick a new door in your stall to get out.
>
> Spectacularly marked ~ Horrible conformation, pretty spots.
>
> Used to race ~ Still does, unless firmly tied to a tree.
>
> Owner getting out of the business ~ Owner is tired of dealing with this
> ignorant monster.
>
> Works well off his rear." Because the front is usually off the ground.
>
> Must sell due to financial situation.. ~ horse is costing me a fortune in
> bute and supplements.
>
> Puppy dog temperament ~ has no manners, but is cute, so it's ok.
>
> Always in the ribbons ~ 10th place....out of 10 riders.
>
> Goes in a snaffle ~ ...like a bat out of hell.
>
> Scopey ~ has jumped out of every paddock we own.
>
> Wonderful Halter prospect ~ bred for beauty...not brains
>
> "Ladies horse"- Calm around women but hates men and tries to kill them!
(I'm
> lucky enough to have one of those)
>
>
>